Hey guys -
So I've been working the last couple of weeks with the emotion of shame for myself. So I thought I'd share I've been doing and experiencing.
In coaching with Mark Ivar Myhre - he's pointed out that a guy like me who's had a fair amount of success with women, but still feels a lack of consistency and unworthiness to talk to any woman I choose has shame issues. Boy is he right. As I explore this further, it's much less about engaging a women, but more about my self-worth especially around my sexuality as a man. The way I feel ashamed to desire a woman, to want her and have thoughts of what I'd like to do to her, etc. I have a feeling most guys on here come from a Judeo-Christian background so maybe you can relate, as that's how we've been taught around sexuality. Sure there's the social-sexual thing going on that Rion has cracked, and I see that all over now, and I see past the layers more often than not with women. I believe what Rion has clearly pointed out in modern society, has been around for ages - institutions like the Catholic church have long used sexuality as a way to control people, by making rules of what can and can't be done. Get a hold of a primal urge, learn to control people with it, and you have a great system to manipulate people and make money. This is of course my opinion, but I strongly believe that most all religions are ways to control people, as they are designed by other people and have nothing to do with one's personal relationship with God/universal spirit/oneness/being, etc - how ever you see it for yourself. Even the Dalai Lama is a political figure and hardly a holy man at times, though one of the more enlightened ones. A tangent my friends....
So back to sexuality....I find for me it goes deeper, into a more personal journey of desire and shame. I am still exploring this, but all I can say is I do a guided meditation every day (one of two that I do) that involves gathering up my shame, particularly around sexuality and women, and giving it back to my parents, society and asking for it to be healed by my future or higher self (Marks says these are different, and I find the higher self works better for me in this case) . Sometimes it's difficult to focus as I find a guided meditation takes a particular kind of practice, but I am getting better at it. I generally finish by going to a golden pool and bathing in it, while asking for healing from the higher self. Sometimes, like today, I end everything by sending out love & compassion to the universe and in particular to people I have issues with or don't like for some reason. I didn't plan on that today it just happened, and I ended up being guided to send love & compassion to myself - which I found difficult to do! Very interesting, yet not surprising - as we tend to undervalue ourselves as a whole I think, and often don't believe we deserve love and compassion.
I am continuing to do this Shame meditation daily, and experimenting with this to see what changes it brings. So far it has brought new awareness and deeper intimacy with my shame and how it's being affecting me, but no huge reality shifts that I've yet seen. I also do a future self meditation - as I've designed "4 pillars of change" for myself to work on to with Mark to make a permanent long lasting change in the areas of my life in entrepreneurship, creativity, health and women/sexuality. And pretty much in that order for the time being.
Thought I'd share. If anyone replies and I don't get back soon, it 's because I'm busy trying to build my Internet empire
- so you'll have to excuse any delay.