Natural Freedom

Here is a text message transcription from recently (I had some time to kill at my desk tonight, and thought some of you might get some value out of how I set the tone, and handled the situation. I'll abstain from throwing in detailed commentary, however I might italicize the occasionnal bit. My words shall be in boldface type. Some background: This woman messaged me on POF because she liked what she saw. In the course of our corespondence she hinted that she wanted to meet me to 'cuddle' ASAP.

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U busy at work right now?

Yup. Just got started.

Boo! I went out with some dud on POF today and he was an absolute jerk.

Dahaha! Tell me about it in a bit. I have to make some calls to the office right now...

K Just message me when you're free.

Okay! I got 'er handled. Calgary is in the loop, and I'm at the wheel. So! Tell me about your date

Not a date a meet and greet. Or a meet n fuck was what he was expecting. Is it bad I'm expecting something long term wt a guy?

Don't worry as bad as I wanted to get laid I didn't. He just talked to me so rude.

Finally after 30 minutes of small talk I was like yea I'm leaving and he laughed n played on his phone.

How did you know he was expecting sex?

He invited me to his house lol Red light I fell for to start.
We were joking around on POF and apparently he wasn't lol.

I'll be honest. I got the impression (from your profile and from our back-and-forth)

BRB... Business...

Where would I be without U aka my dr Phil.

k

=========Time Gap===============

So what kind of rude behavior was he exhibiting?


He wanted sex n me to leave until he wants it again. I'm not a fricken wind up toy lol.

I've been thinking about deleting POF anyway. Haven't had much luck lol.

I think I understand... A question: If he had behaved right and met you in the middle for what you both wanted to get out of the deal, would you have gotten intimate?

No I don't need or want a booty call. I'm kind of happy that I didn't give in and I stood up for myself but mad I waisted a day texting him lol.

I'll be honest. I got the impression (from your profile and from our back-and-forth) that you were keen to get physical quickly. I think it's possible that he might have gotten the same impression

Okay fair enough I respect your honesty.

But yer questions are making me think.

Should I dress up in nunnery clothes so men don't think I'm a walking sex partner lmfao.

I don't wanna talk about this anymore lol n I'm sure u don't want to listen to me whine

Can I ask u a blunt question?

============Time Gap==============

Sure, go ahead. (was busy supervising the driller for a critical part of the well)

No worries. So when us a good time to text u, I feel I'm always bugging you when you're at work. Or shall I take a hint? Please b honest.

I really suck at reading men Lately lol.

At work is fine. My hands don't get dirty so I can handly my phone whenever.

I'll give you a hint though... When you invite a guy to "cuddle", more often than not it sounds like code for sex. From my experience, cuddling does lead to sex.

Lol fine. No more cuddle invites. Like u'd drive that far anyways you goof.

No, I wouldn't, but I'd meet a woman half-way for a chance to get acquainted.

If cuddling leads to kissing fine. I'll just duct tape my pants on

Hmm. Glad to see u'd go half way. I would've met u last fri when u were "heading west" lol

I thought you might have.

I have a rubber arm! Haha am I that easily readable?

You seem fairly up-front, but no woman is completely transparent. I suspected you might have wanted to see me but my intuition told me that you might have been nervous, so I just left it alone. I'm done with puting pressure on women.

I'm way too blunt my face is so expressive its funny if I'm lying my face will be fighting a grin.

Not gonna lie I'd be shy at first. But if u would've made a move I'd be interested or persuaded lol not wt a case of pilsner tho yuck lol.

I can dig it. I understand that women basically want to have a good time and still be respected as a person without feeling used. Guys like me are the same way.

Where did u end up going fri anyways? :p

Whoa bingo. U win major points (Ruffy). For u to just type that lol.

Huge! I'm dancing n clapping.

Friday I visited (W-town). What a saussagefest!

Lol in the town bar or what? Lol.

Yeah I swung in for a beer or two, chatted with some roughnecks, and was out.

How far is (X-town) from where u r?

Bout 30k

I'm a girl. Lol so what 20 mins

I go by mins lol.

Yeah about that.

Oh so what would be halfway. Hypothetically speaking if we were both in a cruising mood one night.

Like... (C-town), (Z-town)... somewhere around there.

Ahh hell id do (Z-town). You're cute enough

+grin+ Right on. I might be shaking free in the next day or two anyway. Heading west

U nerd you made me giggle! Ps nerd is a pet name no offence.

(Z-town) is not bad tho I thought it would be farther.

A few years ago I drove to (T-town) to meet a guy. Ahh rubber arm lol.

No offense taken, nerd

Oh U don't even know lol.

Off to bed, are you?

Nope. Watching bachelor. Then maybe reply to sum work emails. Had a nap at supper time.

Nice. Well, ta ta for now. Back to the rig floor for a while.

Alright. Have a good shift!

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I believe in gender equality using the strip club paradigm. While some men consent to throwing their money at pussy, I endorse women throwing their pussy at money. .

DAT ASS

Naw, but I think you are in the clear to ruin that vagina.

POF is fucked up for sure, though. I deleted mine. All the women I dated off that site were creepers. I hope she turns out to be good quality, though.

My bet is that you'll meet up somewhere and she'll put up some kind of front like she's not easy (but she totally is) and you'll bust through that shit and she'll ride you like a champ.

Giddyup.

Also, good job on maintaining your value and keeping the power tilted in your favor.

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden

Great stuff.

I think she did genuinely want sex from this website, just on her terms, the horndog she went on a date with had tunnel vision.

I also don't believe she didn't know what signals she was sending with her profile, she's either playing dumb or really dense, unless I'm reading that wrong...

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Awesome...sounds a lot like convos I've had.
'Grinus' favorite parts of the interaction.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Also, I demand pics.

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden

Thanks for sharing ruffneck. This girl is so on your nuts it's not even funny.

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

Aaargh! Reminds me of this girl I got on my msn through a local dating site, she was talking to me the way that girl was talking to you, I never took the hint, oh alas!

What set you off thinking she wanted you?

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Don't be sexist, bitches hate that.

Ruffy, nice post, thanks for posting so others can read.

Pacing, space and interest while being indifferent.

She is putting effort in, qualifying and throwing bait without you biting.
You are relaxing, throwing bait in and she is biting.

Nice.
I Like. Yup, I smiled when I read that part of the post. The smile grew bigger when the second one appeared

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

@ Alchem:

I agree with your impression that she knows what she's after. There were some subtle and some not so subtle cues.

@ Poke:

In the spirit of gentlemanliness I think posting pics would be going too far. However I will describe her. Her profile pics show her as a brunette with a cute little nose. One of her pics depicts her sitting on a motorcycle and shows an incongruence with the rest: She looks to be a bit farther on the chubby side of things in that one. After grudgingly granting her a 24 hour day pass to my facebook profile (I'm quite stringent with regards to who's on the list) to allow her to see more pics, I did some investigating. I discovered that the majority of her profile pics were about 4 years out-of-date, making her 'profile self' 22 years old. In fact, her facebook profile pic was a little bit off-puting; Quite a bit thicker, weird facial expression... something in the eyebrows looked a bit... diabolical. Oh well I'm not (completely) shallow. I'll see if her personality makes up for it.

@TK!! & PG

Thanks. I thought you'd each agree it was a good example

@Az:

The basic tells...
1) She made 1st contact. Message was (and I read code into this):
"Damn cold weather made me add some curves too . I need a male friend to get me active again. Lol"

2)In other messages, qualified herself in a few ways:
"Seriously is trig your name? And we have tons of gyms. I just have a very demanding job and am a workaholic so when I get home I wanna be a couch potato. Plus I life alone so I can starfish (probably not sexual, but you never know...) on the couch n bed without anyone bugging me. Lol. And wear hideous comfy clothes like oversized hoodies and onesies. Lol

After a long ass day I sometimes just want a night to myself. My last bf couldn't understand n deal wt me not wanting to spend every last min of my leisure time wt him. I need some space.

3)Expressed interest in escalating

Yay. Thought I creeped u away from responding because of my biting comment/joke. Lol. Well I put the iPad to rest. Now laying in bed wt my phone(always pay attention for this one. Do I really need to explain why?). U stuck working the night shift? No road trip for cuddles
How about visitors? Lol I need a day off or a small vacation road trip . I'm drifting asleep here send me a text sometime xxx-xxx-xxxx ps my name is ======= Not sure if I told u that.

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I believe in gender equality using the strip club paradigm. While some men consent to throwing their money at pussy, I endorse women throwing their pussy at money. .

Could not resist that one, priceless

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

FUCKING LOL

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden

so bad, so good that it's so bad.
talk about blatant

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim

Definitely not sexual Ruffy.

This is to mean: spread out, arms spread out to side and legs out, spread... Like a starfish. Spread yourself around with no one in your way, just taking up as much space as possible in a relaxed comfy way.

This is your space, so enjoy it, however you want, using as much up as you want.

Am partial to it myself.

http://i1.trekearth.com/photos/97478/starfish.jpg

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Thats pretty cool, I never thought of looking out for women qualifying themselves to me so far I've just been looking out for physical signs, I'm glad I read this.

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Don't be sexist, bitches hate that.

Follow-up (in brief detail):

Texted her that I was in town and free to meet up with her for a few drinks after visiting with my cousin.

I think you'd like him. Very handsome and quite athletic

"Oh? Bring him along. I'll see if I can find one of my single friends for you"

But what if I want you all to myself tonight? I think this may have been a mistake, right here...

I phoned her when I got to town and was delighted that she had a very pleasant sing-songy voice. She broke my balls a bit for mentionning my cousin and 'puting her in the friend zone'. Met her for a couple drinks Had a little chit-chat, couple laughs. It was a sort of 20 questions format, her asking lots about me, without me asking much about her. She made it clear in passing that I was welcome to her couch. Not a good sign

We ended up back at her place and she gave me the tour of her place. When we got to her bedroom I looked on her display shelf; A mini copy of "Sex for Dummies". I picked it up and looked at her with an inquisitive eyebrow. She explained that it was just a showpiece for decoration. I decided to put this to the test. I laid down on the edge of her bed and started reading chapter 1 "foreplay". She didn't react much to it.

I made myself comfortable on the couch with the blankets she brought and she joined me in laying down. We chatted a bit as I paid attention to her body language. When she started playing with her hair I took that as my cue. We made out for a bit and she went to bed.

As I laid comfortably on the couch I heard a strange noise from the other room: vrrrrmvrrrrmvrrrmvrrrmvrrrmVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRmvrrrmvrrrmvrrrmvrrrmvrrrmvrrrmmm... Which went on for about a minute. I was thinking "Holy fuck! Did she just bust out a Hitachi?!?"

For those of you that don't know, this is a hitachi:



Yes, fellas, that's a vibrator that actually plugs INTO THE WALL.

I considered the situation for a moment, wondering if she was actually pleasuring herself with an industrial vibrator, meanwhile some hard cock was available on her couch. It seemed a bit far fetched, since it only lasted about a minute. I shook my head and fell asleep. I recall two pieces of my dreams. I saw a puppy which was about to poop indoors, so I prompted it to stand up, and let it outside to do its business. Good boy. I also dreamt into the future. I was already out of this woman's house and carrying on with my life.

I woke up confused, and realized that I was still in her house. I laid comfortably, enjoying the near-noon sun on my face. From the other room I heard once more

vrrmvrrmvrrmvrrmvrrmvrrmvrrmvrrmVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMvrrmvrrrmvrrmvrrmvrrm....

"Holy fuck?! Does this woman ever stop masurbating?"

This time I considered it worth investigating. (With a mild hangover and blue balls, I would ACTUALLY run after a chubby in this case, or maybe it was just curiousity;)

I poked my head in her room and she was bundled up tight in her blankets looking quite asleep. I investigated in the next room.



As it turns out, it was an automatic litterbox for her cat.

It wasn't long and I was on my way back to the rig. I pulled into a truckstop for an early afternoon breakfast. I pulled out my iPad and checked my POFmail. 6 new messages. Hard to feel bad about striking out on such a nice day.

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I believe in gender equality using the strip club paradigm. While some men consent to throwing their money at pussy, I endorse women throwing their pussy at money. .

Ya these 2 things definitely didn't help you. You sound like you know your shit so I won't preach to you, but in my experience putting a chick in the friendzone (ie reversing roles) is best done passively, not actively...playing dumb like Kidd says. If you "try" and do it it usually comes off like you are trying and she knows she has you and loses interest, it's like getting mad at her to make it look like you don't like her instead of being "nice and indifferent", getting mad shows she has you hooked and her interest is gone.

And the wanting her to yourself comment, the challenge for her was gone after that, and saying that after what you said before definitely let her know you were playing games and not being genuine, and not being genuine shows insecurity which turned her off. But lesson learned.

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

I suppose this says something for the value of not being overly picky. Better to learn these lessons in fine-tuning the craft on the more abundant (& less desireable) women.

Another minor sub-factor here is that it had been 14 days since she had innitially contacted me. I make a point of keeping at least some form of notes on when these women get the nerve to message me. At the time of our in-person rendezvous she was a full 2 weeks out of phase with whatever hormonal factors which caused her to try get a piece of the Ruffy.

I speculate that if I had made her wait another 11-12 days (and not weakened my position in the particular way I did) things would have been more in my favor.

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I believe in gender equality using the strip club paradigm. While some men consent to throwing their money at pussy, I endorse women throwing their pussy at money. .

Let's keep it real for a moment...all ego aside.

She wasn't trying to get a piece of you...you were trying to get a piece of HER.

The moment you went on offense (the kick off was the 'want you to myself' text), you left her with no space.

YOU picked up the Sex for Dummies book.

YOU sat on the bed and attempted to entice.

I'd even wager that YOU initiated the make out session on the couch.

ManniJa is right. If it were me, I would have played aloof and dumb until she couldn't take it anymore. I've taken it to the point where once I was in the bed with a woman I'd just met 2 hours prior at a nightclub whom I let follow me home because she felt like she 'was too drunk to drive to her house'...so, me being the gentleman that I am, quickly offered that she could stay at my place for a bit since I lived pretty close.

So I'm laying next to her...fully clothed. She had gotten into her undies...so I just waited for it. No moves, no words...my official line was that I was letting her rest since she was too drunk to drive home.

Within 20 minutes, she sat straight up in the bed like she was Linda Blair, post-demon possession. It actually startled me!

She says, 'What are you doing?'

I says, 'Napping...why? I thought you were doing the same...'

She then says, 'Do you think I came home with you, got undressed and got into your bed with you TO GO TO SLEEP?!?'

Me to myself, 'Gotcha!'

I then look at her incredulously and say, 'Oh...you didn't? But you said tha...'

...that sentence trailed off because her frustration got the better of her and she began furiously undoing my belt and trying to get my dick in her mouth as quickly as humanly possible. It took everything in me not to bust out laughing.

See the difference?

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Despite your errors, she gave you a second and third chance.

...and you still blew it.


Honestly, forget the hair, IOIS and all that nonsense. It's not your concern.

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Sparkling All Over

THIS!

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NOPE

Ok, it was a mistake but it meant nothing, seeing what had gone before. It was irrelevant, the damage had already been done, by your mindset.

You were trying to hard, imho.

This rendered it irrelevant:Though I would wager there were 'mistakes' before this.

She even let you know it was a mistake.

-

I will clarify however.. It was only a mistake because you were trying and were worried about making mistakes... Otherwise it would not have been a mistake.
It was your mindset that was the mistake, not what you said. What you said was simply an outward manifestation of your inner mindset.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.