Bravo Alchemist
The initial rejection that sent me on a downwards spiral years ago did not define me as a person, those bitches acted according to the program towards an outcast at the bottom of the totem pole, the reason I felt bad about it is because I looked to women as a measure of my own worth and as Kidd mentioned the mother's conditioning, that and too much television....
This is a valuable observation, or set of observations.
if that means fewer options then so be it, as it stands now I have practically none anyway and yet, somehow I'm still alive....
Good starting point.
You are losing nothing. You are no worse off options wise.
Yet as you say you are still alive and functioning
On the plus side I feel more empowered and that much more immune to women's bullshit tactics,
Bravo!
I no longer have the desire for anything that ressembles a relationship, let alone an occasional sex partner, like I'm gonna give the benefit of the doubt to the few that recognise some value that I have even now, they didn't give a shit before they saw my potential anyway, so fuck it.
This sounds like the beginning of indifference to me
As pissed off as I am now I will use this anger in a positive manner, I will hold my tongue and not be an asshole unless it's necessary.
Good
There is good in this Alchemist.. Give it time to wash over you and time to process the thoughts, observe the world around you and let the storm settle a bit.
When the seas have calmed down you will see the clear skies start to come back, maybe in a slightly different colour and a bit clearer, they will return.