Natural Freedom

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 Post subject: Waking up
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:14 pm 
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Edit by admin: the opening thread about the book is here:
http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... =17&t=1288
.............

I've jumped on the angry bandwagon after reading the Manipulated Man the 2nd time through, today I had a purge of strong emotions on and off, this shit hit me deeper than I thought.

This is what I realised:

The initial rejection that sent me on a downwards spiral years ago did not define me as a person, those bitches acted according to the program towards an outcast at the bottom of the totem pole, the reason I felt bad about it is because I looked to women as a measure of my own worth and as Kidd mentioned the mother's conditioning, that and too much television....had I the awareness back then that I have now I would be living a completely different life.

When my career kicks off and miraculously female attention comes my way I will make them jump through rings of fire for my time (if they're lucky) if that means fewer options then so be it, as it stands now I have practically none anyway and yet, somehow I'm still alive....

On the plus side I feel more empowered and that much more immune to women's bullshit tactics, I no longer have the desire for anything that ressembles a relationship, let alone an occasional sex partner, like I'm gonna give the benefit of the doubt to the few that recognise some value that I have even now, they didn't give a shit before they saw my potential anyway, so fuck it. :lol:

As pissed off as I am now I will use this anger in a positive manner, I will hold my tongue and not be an asshole unless it's necessary.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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 Post subject: Re: Waking up
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 8:10 pm 
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Location: The unknown
what about that girl you were seeing who saw your potential?
you broke up?

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"


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 Post subject: Re: Waking up
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 9:28 pm 
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Potential?

It's not over yet, she's not my girlfriend so it wouldn't be breaking up, at my age I shouldn't expect anything more than a casual thing, so fuck it, I've renounced the idea of a keeper anyway, just focusing on my own shit from now on.

I'm taking time off this place to reflect on this....will be back sometime.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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 Post subject: Re: Waking up
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 12:37 am 
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Bravo Alchemist :D
Alchemist wrote:
The initial rejection that sent me on a downwards spiral years ago did not define me as a person, those bitches acted according to the program towards an outcast at the bottom of the totem pole, the reason I felt bad about it is because I looked to women as a measure of my own worth and as Kidd mentioned the mother's conditioning, that and too much television....
This is a valuable observation, or set of observations.
Alchemist wrote:
if that means fewer options then so be it, as it stands now I have practically none anyway and yet, somehow I'm still alive....
Good starting point.

You are losing nothing. You are no worse off options wise.
Yet as you say you are still alive and functioning :)
Alchemist wrote:
On the plus side I feel more empowered and that much more immune to women's bullshit tactics,
Bravo!
Alchemist wrote:
I no longer have the desire for anything that ressembles a relationship, let alone an occasional sex partner, like I'm gonna give the benefit of the doubt to the few that recognise some value that I have even now, they didn't give a shit before they saw my potential anyway, so fuck it. :lol:
This sounds like the beginning of indifference to me :idea:
Alchemist wrote:
As pissed off as I am now I will use this anger in a positive manner, I will hold my tongue and not be an asshole unless it's necessary.
Good


There is good in this Alchemist.. Give it time to wash over you and time to process the thoughts, observe the world around you and let the storm settle a bit.
When the seas have calmed down you will see the clear skies start to come back, maybe in a slightly different colour and a bit clearer, they will return.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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