Natural Freedom

This shouldn't be another bad held diary of mine But I'll use it to write my changes aswell.

4 days ago I finished Eckhartt Tolle's A new Earth. I can't say right now which impact that book has/will have on me but I think its not a small one. I benefited from a lot of things in the last days. On the one hand, the big talk about indifference, my "desperate" search for a practical method to it and the result that there isn't really one in this forum, on the other hand a change in my way of being which most probably is related to everything in the last days.

Let me explain.

Its kinda difficult to explain. I'm really "trying" to feel and accept my bad emotions/thoughts now. Its not "trying" in a way related to an outcome but a more and more gaining of the "ability" to not judge emotions and thoughts, feel them and let them go away by themselves. When I tried that in the past it was like that: I got a bad feeling, then I CONCIOUSLY tried to feel it (but analysed it...) and suddenly another bad feeling came up related to that egoical analysing... So my ego controlled everything.
Now if I get a bad feeling, I accept it. I can't describe but the accepting is different, its without judging by the ego and if the ego judges I just accept the judgement...

I noticed today that I don't want women to notice me anymore since a few days. I just focus on my reactions to them (bad emotions etc).

Yesterday I had an awesome grounding session of 20 minutes. Wow! Afterwards I was very calm, laid in my bed, read again the text I posted in the "indifference-thread" and asked myself what I really desire. I don't want to say that the ones that came to my mind are my real Top-desires but being aware of them felt great.

- Wishing a pretty, natural, happy, humorous and critical girlfriend.
- Being successful in philosophy.
- Reaching as much as possible for the goal of animal rights.

I more and more agree with Shay that the use of "wanting" instead of "needing" in the posts of Marcus is not that useful. I really misinterpreted it in the past. The danger is that you think there should be no more wanting in your life, no goals you WANT to reach at all. I know now that Marcus didn't mean it this way but the word "wanting" is too broad. Thank you Shay! I often thought that you're (just regarding that parcticular topic ) a pain in the ass because you wrote everywhere that Marcus chose the wrong words. I thought "oh man, Shay, we understood you, you don't have to write those same damn things in every topic about Marcus" and now I'm really thankful that you did it

I also did some Chakra-cleaning Eft, but don't know the impact of it.

More to come. I now start to feel that the whole "thing" is so much bigger than just women.

Best regards,

Vegano

hey man,

Yea I am a pain in the ass

and regarding a practical method you said: 'there isn't really one in this forum'
for me Sedona was very practical in regards to what you were trying to do, but we are all different so maybe it didn't work for you......
or maybe you didn't do it correctly?

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

I'm using sedona method too now. Altough not on every bad feeling. Most of the times I try to accept them and not judge them.

But I noticed that in the beginning, sedona doesn't feel very powerful or feels like it has no effect but the more you do it the more it has an instant effect.

That's the first step in the sedona before you ask the questions...

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"