Natural Freedom

I was about to leave for my postgraduate studies today but 4 days ago my uncle decided to withdraw a part of his financial support. Since I do not have the remaining money, I decided not to go because I simply could not go. Allthough my grandparents and another uncle offered to cover the difference, I would not do it because these people need the money, it is not abudant to them. Moreover, I would not have decided and prepared to study abroad and spend so much on this, had he not VOLUNTEERED to cover all my expenses there (he would actually give me way more than I needed, money is not an issue for this man).

According to him, the main reason for his decision was my attitude lately. I had a surgery about 3 weeks ago, nothing serious but still a surgery, and wasn't really in the mood for talking or going out with ANYONE (even if I was, I couldn't because my nose was very congested and wore a splint). He demanded from me to initiate contact and tell him how I was, ask him how his vacation had been, as he was on vacation until my third postoperative day (instead of him reaching me and asking about my postoperative course).

It was definitely a hard hit, primarily due to the timing. Had an outburst for roughly half an hour, alone in my room, before I let it go. I gave him a deadline to change his decision and correct his mistake so I MIGHT forgive him, but because I knew it was not very likely I simultaneously devised a "contingency plan" to turn this page of my life and start planning my future on my own, independent of everything bar my value.

This man has shown many signs of his malice and dirty behaviour to others, but was very nice to me overall. He is homosexual and many people, including my father, have attributed his awkward, bad behaviour to his sexual disorder. I have no hard feelings for this man (no feelings at all). I would never contact him again, nor do anything that relates with him. Icy indifference would best describe what exists in me towards him, like he doesn't exist anymore.

Some lessons:

1. Looks can be deceiving so hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. I would never imagine that my uncle, as I knew him before the surgery, could do this to me. However, this forum has solidified so much my mindset so far that my response was so calm and unemotional it surprises even me. While everyone around me started to backbite him for ruining my dream, I had already moved on, planning my next moves.

2. Every cloud has a silver lining. This event taught me that as long as you are financially dependent on someone (even if she is your closest relative), she can withdraw her aid anytime and you are fucked. It was a first hand experience for mental toughness. Also I am so much happier now that I will not have to study again (memorize irrelevant, useless textbook "facts") and look for an internship instead. In fact, the ultimate goal behind my postgraduate was an internship. This is what employers look for in my sector, and in most sectors, after all. Meanwhile I am studying by myself and I have all the material I need. Next week I will start spreading my CV and motivation letter and patiently wait for the right offer. Also, I will take the BAT Test, which I recommend for everyone who engages in financial economics.

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The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it's conformity.

Abrupt changes like this lead to better things, more often than not.

Great attitude man, shame you couldn't come down for your postgrad but maybe our paths will cross sometime.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

What country do you live in?

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

First off, you handled it as well as you could. Serious props on that.

And I know exactly what you're going through. My family has (many times, among other things) told me I can't eat their food, that I have to buy food for myself, because I'm not "thankful enough" for what they do for me. I have a feeling that a lot of people (my parents, your uncle perhaps) are simply insecure in their relationships with people and fear being taken for granted, so they view anything they do as this mighty favor that they, with about as much a lack of empathy as possible, take away at the slightest sign of disrespect - not even disrespect, but not fulfilling their fucked emotional needs. The first time I lost my eating priveledges because, after starting a job, I ate dinner at a burger joint my friend worked at, and "If you're suddenly so rich that you can buy your own food and not eat dinner at home, then try not having us support you financially!"

Obviously what your uncle did is way more screwed up, but being dependant on this kind of person is scary once you realize the situation. If it's not too late, any way you can get some tuitions/short-term help from your family until you find a job or paid internship? I don't know much about postgraduate study, but I don't think those two have to be mutually exclusive.

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Take it easy, man. But take it.

You never know, your country is certainly an attractive one.
Greece
You are right about these people, they are very insecure and miserable. They also have many similarities with the psychotic boss type which Robert Greene describes in this article: http://powerseductionandwar.com/the-psychotic-boss/
Ironically enough, my uncle owns a company and, as the boss there, he acts EXACTLY as the psychotic boss description in the article.

As far as I am concerned, I am thrifty and low maintenance enough to not be a burden on my parents until I find something worthwhile - on the contrary, I help whenever I feel like it using my savings. Patience is key.

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The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it's conformity.

zogler, as you say many valuable lessons in these happenings.
There are core values behind this decision which are good. These principles are your boundaries and core values. They are what make you a man.
Bravo

On another note, as you have already sumised from what you wrote.. Given that he has reacted like this, in my view, much better to find this out now before you begin your studies rather than later, part way through your studies.

He has shown his colours and they are not bright, vibrant and pretty.

It also seems you learnt some things about yourself and your mindset, I am sure that was an eye opener
BRAVO!
This is a bitter pill to swallow for people. It is one that needs to be swallowed at some point in my view.

In a way he has forced you into swallowing it.

Did he do you a favour? Even though he did not realise it?

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. -ShitLiger

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

He was schemin' on your booty cheeks.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

The fact that they sincerely meant what they said when they offered help and went as fas as to insist on me going for it is something invaluable which I will remember. Hard times show who really care for you and these people did it.
He certainly did do me a favour. This experience will prove very beneficial to me, already does in fact. He has already lost a considerable amount of money that was prepaid for my acommodation and will soon realize he also lost my emotional support, which was very important to him. Every time I achieved something, he boasted about it to everyone of his social environment, effectively covering the void in his life.
Absolutely spot on.
A different perspective never hurts.

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The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it's conformity.