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When is it right to cut someone off?
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Author:  Slim Titan [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:55 pm ]
Post subject:  When is it right to cut someone off?
I met a woman who seems interested in me a year ago, but she has a problem behaving in a way that I accept.

We exchanged numbers and talked for a while. The conversation turned sexual, her leading. She asks to see the goods. I oblige and send her the picture because I didn't think it would do damage since she asked. I tell her to send me a picture of herself nude and she does not comply. I let it go because I can't force her to do what's right. Later in the conversation trail, we talk about meeting and come up with a time and day. She was supposed to come pick me up and never did.

After a few days, I text her that I don't appreciate her bad behavior and not to contact me until she changes. It was two strikes too many. At the time, I felt I was owed a response for her absenteeism. She doesn't respond at all.

two months or three months pass and she texts me out of the blue. After I find out who she is, I immediately tell her that I don't want to talk to her until she sends the pictures she owed me, apologize for not meeting me, setup a time for us to meet, and come up with a plan to show means she's sorry.

She doesn't respond. Another three or four months pass. She contacts me again. I didn't even recognize her face when she sent the picture after I asked who it was. She didn't text me her name immediately because I guess she expected me to remember her. Not knowing who she was I asked her how I can help her and what I can do for her. She gets pissy and says, "nvm since you're acting like you don't remember me". I respond with the fact that I don't know her name. She tells me.

I text her that she needs make good on the pictures, apology, and plan to show me she's sorry. This time I elaborate on her disrespectful actions and tell her everything that is important to me than talking to her: dignity, respect, integrity, and honesty etc. I remind her of what she did and let her know that she isn't mine until she acts like it. I acknowledge that she played me and won't let that happen again.

Again, she hasn't responded. It's been two weeks.

In retrospect, it was probably the dumbest thing in the world to let her see her boss so soon. :lol:
Getting played like that hurt, and I definitely won't allow any possibility of that again.

If history repeats itself then she'll contact me again in another two, four, or six months, but I have a feeling she'll never make good on my demands unless there's a freaking time bomb in front of her.

I don't want her unless she makes good on everything. Fwiw, none of the demands have money behind them like shoes or clothes etc. We haven't hanged out since we first talked. There's nothing between us strong enough to warrant that.

Is there anything I can say when she contacts me again that makes her comply? Or should I just let her twist in the wind when contacts me again? Should I just tell her to lose my number?

I'm sure she's been fucking other guys, and I'm not about to hold last in line unless making it worth my time by taking me places and stuff. I'd rather tell her to lose my number.

I feel like increasing the demands and giving her a final time limit, like she can lose my number after x day if she doesn't do what I said.
Author:  Aragorn [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 10:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
Gotta say Slim, sometimes you tend to take yourself too seriously.
Author:  fufe [ Fri Aug 14, 2015 10:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
Nah, doing the same thing expecting different results it seems to me

I'd maybe actually meet her in person and then told her about the bullshit and see how she reacts - Even only if for scientific purpose really.
Author:  caster [ Sat Aug 15, 2015 1:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
This reminds me of what original white folks said were the first two rules of the game.

1. Get paid upfront.
2. Get paid upfront.

You care about this more than you should because you got robbed, you gave and did not receive and now she is robbing your time, making you write out long posts and think about her. As they say in poker don't chase bad money with good, which means don't try to win back what you lost, just play your best game. I would forget about her if I were you.
Author:  Fresh [ Sat Aug 15, 2015 2:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
I agree with Caster.

Take an L on this one. Look back at the experience and see what you can take from it (introspectively) and move on.

And share with us what you've learnt.
Author:  TheKing_65 [ Sat Aug 15, 2015 2:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
When is it right to cut someone off?

I met a woman who seems interested in me a year ago, but she has a problem behaving in a way that I accept.

We exchanged numbers and talked for a while.

The conversation turned sexual, her leading. She asks to see the goods. –Slim Titan

1st mistake. Never reveal yourself in a way that can go viral. We’re all students of the game, so we’re all destined to become someone of significance in the future; revealing yourself like this can come back to bite you in the ass. The only people that can get away with this type of reckless behavior are people that don't expect to become anything in life. –TheKing_65

I oblige and send her the picture because I didn't think it would do damage since she asked. I tell her to send me a picture of herself nude and she does not comply. I let it go because I can't force her to do what's right. –Slim Titan

This goes back to my 1st point. Ideally, I’d tell you to fire her at this point but you already put yourself in a compromising position that can bite you in the ass. –TheKing_65


Two months or three months pass and she texts me out of the blue. After I find out who she is, I immediately tell her that I don't want to talk to her until she sends the pictures she owed me, apologize for not meeting me, setup a time for us to meet, and come up with a plan to show means she's sorry.

She doesn't respond. Another three or four months pass. She contacts me again. I didn't even recognize her face when she sent the picture after I asked who it was. She didn't text me her name immediately because I guess she expected me to remember her. Not knowing who she was I asked her how I can help her and what I can do for her. She gets pissy and says, "never-mind since you're acting like you don't remember me". I respond with the fact that I don't know her name. She tells me.

I text her that she needs make good on the pictures, apology, and plan to show me she's sorry. –Slim Titan

At this point, this post comes into play; there shouldn’t be any way for her to make amends at this point. –TheKing_65


P.S.

Support my blog if you dig the content, and be on the lookout for my e-book next year. It should make for an interesting read.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Sat Aug 15, 2015 4:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
^THIS 8-)
Author:  Jared [ Sat Aug 15, 2015 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
Quote:
When is it right to cut someone off?
Quote:
When your Karma is done, then the relationship will be done
Author:  rant [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 2:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
TheKing_65 wrote:
The conversation turned sexual, her leading. She asks to see the goods. –Slim Titan[/color]

1st mistake. Never reveal yourself in a way that can go viral. We’re all students of the game, so we’re all destined to become someone of significance in the future; revealing yourself like this can come back to bite you in the ass. The only people that can get away with this type of reckless behavior are people that don't expect to become anything in life. –TheKing_65



I been thinking about this, all she wants is a penis, very ofensive compared with my achievments.

or

never thought a penis is such an obstruction for the develovment of humanity.
Author:  Slim Titan [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 4:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
@TheKing65

Glad you saw the big picture. I've always been against sending pictures of my self naked. It seemed ok to do at the time because I thought she was sincerely with the program. Definitely not doing it again.

I checked out your post. It definitely captured what I was feeling at the time and eerily reflected some of my past experiences in these instances. I don't want an endless loop and there definitely isn't an endless set of chances with me.

To some of the other responses I received:

You guys are really missing the big picture. It's about my time and what I'll tolerate and not so much about her. This is not the first I've received a text like this. I've rarely converted the women though. Sure the question is wrapped in a strong desire to exact justice, revenge, or what have you. Since when did justice have mercy? If that means I sound too serious or invested because I wrote a long post explaining what happened then so be it. It has to be that way.

I'm filling a knowledge gap that's helping me move forward from distractions.
Author:  caster [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 5:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
Slim Titan wrote:

To some of the other responses I received:

You guys are really missing the big picture. It's about my time and what I'll tolerate and not so much about her. This is not the first I've received a text like this. I've rarely converted the women though. Sure the question is wrapped in a strong desire to exact justice, revenge, or what have you. Since when did justice have mercy? If that means I sound too serious or invested because I wrote a long post explaining what happened then so be it. It has to be that way.

I'm filling a knowledge gap that's helping me move forward from distractions.
You're right. I thought you were asking how to convert a girl who played you and then to whom later you confessed being played. TheKing_65's post is good big picture advice for what you should have done, and I learned from it also.
Author:  TheDude [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 7:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
Questions and Feedback wrote:
This is the place to give Feedback about articles from 'Kidd'z Korner' & ask 'The Kidd' and 'peregrinus' questions..
Before asking a question please read all the mandatory material and use the search engine to see if the question was already asked.
When a question is asked, do not chime in until Kidd responds. If he never responds, then it's just going to be a one-post thread
It's been mentioned countless times.
Author:  fufe [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 9:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
I think the King's and Jared's posts were actually enough

Also, what is your gut telling you in those decision-making moments ?
Author:  Aragorn [ Mon Aug 17, 2015 11:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
Quote:
You guys are really missing the big picture. It's about my time and what I'll tolerate and not so much about her. This is not the first I've received a text like this. I've rarely converted the women though. Sure the question is wrapped in a strong desire to exact justice, revenge, or what have you. Since when did justice have mercy? If that means I sound too serious or invested because I wrote a long post explaining what happened then so be it. It has to be that way.
Wasn't referring to the length of the post, Slim. This is a forum to get feedback on your path towards realizing your self, make them as long or short as they need to be.

It just seemed like a large part of this was an attempt to get the girl to respect you, or inflict on her some of the pain that her flakiness might have caused you. So in a way, I wanted to point your attention towards the fact that you seem to feel slighted when people don't show the respect you feel you deserve, and instead of simply not dealing with that person anymore you seem to be attempting to change their perception of you through a set of actions that would make it seem you're unattached. Could be I worded it wrong in that first reply.

But you mention exacting justice and revenge, which is something I personally am becoming less and less interested in, so could be that we're on different wavelengths here. I would've introspected on why it bugs me out that she flakes, and why I continue the interaction once it seems that a line has been crossed, with the ultimate goal being not taking it personally and not letting it disrupt my frame of mind too much. Not saying my way is the right way though.

So do what you gotta do, you have some great replies detailing how you should deal with this.

@bliss/Kidd!!, I don't usually read the section where new topics are posted, my mistake.
Author:  Altair [ Tue Aug 18, 2015 6:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
Cut her off the moment it's no longer worth the trouble. Or for any reason at all. It's your life you don't have to justify your decision.
Author:  peregrinus [ Sat Aug 22, 2015 11:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
Slim Titan wrote:
blah blah blah
Oh my.

Oh my.

'When is it right to cut someone off?'
In this case, I would say the answer is: when you realise you have played yourself for a chump.

Overinvestment? Yes
Not finishing how you started? Yes
Buying rather than selling? Yes

Everything in your first post tells me more about you than her.
Author:  Slim Titan [ Tue Aug 25, 2015 9:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
peregrinus wrote:
Slim Titan wrote:
blah blah blah
Oh my.

Oh my.

'When is it right to cut someone off?'
In this case, I would say the answer is: when you realise you have played yourself for a chump.

Overinvestment? Yes
Not finishing how you started? Yes
Buying rather than selling? Yes

Everything in your first post tells me more about you than her.
Did you have a bad day or something?
Author:  Jared [ Tue Aug 25, 2015 11:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
Slim Titan wrote:
peregrinus wrote:
Slim Titan wrote:
blah blah blah
Oh my.

Oh my.

'When is it right to cut someone off?'
In this case, I would say the answer is: when you realise you have played yourself for a chump.

Overinvestment? Yes
Not finishing how you started? Yes
Buying rather than selling? Yes

Everything in your first post tells me more about you than her.
Did you have a bad day or something?
逃げる者は道を選ばず
[Nigeru mono wa michi o erabazu] a fleeing person is not picky about his path
Author:  PimpDee [ Sat Mar 11, 2017 12:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: When is it right to cut someone off?
Aragorn wrote:
It just seemed like a large part of this was an attempt to get the girl to respect you, or inflict on her some of the pain that her flakiness might have caused you. So in a way, I wanted to point your attention towards the fact that you seem to feel slighted when people don't show the respect you feel you deserve, and instead of simply not dealing with that person anymore you seem to be attempting to change their perception of you through a set of actions that would make it seem you're unattached.
peregrinus wrote:
'When is it right to cut someone off?'
In this case, I would say the answer is: when you realise you have played yourself for a chump.

Overinvestment? Yes
Not finishing how you started? Yes
Buying rather than selling? Yes
Where was this post before? Why I couldn't find it before?

I could avoid so many headaches!

...I'm just talking to myself...
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