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Do you react to contentious behaviour?
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Author:  Rolan [ Thu Dec 05, 2013 8:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Me 'So, we're going to meet next week'
He 'Are we? When's that then?'
Me 'I'll delegate the details to you'
Her 'Without telling me you schedule or when you are in town. Right. I'm only free Friday afternoon'.

I delegated the details to her because she's got work/school and I'm just drifting into town. I felt comfortable doing this so I did, and presumed she'd have the sense to intuit this.

Background:

Pretty sure this one has all but admitted her attraction for me, although I'm open to being wrong; She's walked out of a cafe a few weeks ago when I entered without saying hi, emailed the next day to apologise, then wrote that 'she hopes to see me again', and that I was 'very interesting' and that she was 'being silly' cos it seemed like she was 'flirting with me'. Seems pretty unaninimous.

Anyway, for one reason or another it's been hard for me to get into town and actually meet up, but now I do her reply has contentious undertones which I don't need. Firstly, what's the attitude about, and do you check her or let it slide and just take note?

Author:  The Kidd!! [ Thu Dec 05, 2013 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Shoulda just made her aware that you'll be in town and provided the dates of your arrival and departure...then let her do the rest. Now it just comes across like you're forcing the issue...and it's a turn off. :geek:

Author:  Rolan [ Thu Dec 05, 2013 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Yes I see that. Though I did exactly what you wrote a couple of weeks ago and she offered up two different dates, but I ended up having to work both times and what was simple has become a little complicated. So, I took a more direct route.

I'm just going to leave it there and go about my business.

Thanks for replying 8-)

Author:  Slim Titan [ Thu Dec 05, 2013 11:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Rolan wrote:
Yes I see that. Though I did exactly what you wrote a couple of weeks ago and she offered up two different dates, but I ended up having to work both times and what was simple has become a little complicated. So, I took a more direct route.

I'm just going to leave it there and go about my business.

Thanks for replying 8-)
Don't think I would do the same. To me, it seems like something should be done.

I might say to her, "Yeah. Dropped that on you. Pretty sure you can handle it. I want you to clear your schedule because I have a special surprise."

Friday is coming soon. :|

We need a fist pump emoticon because exciting things happen on Friday.

Author:  peregrinus [ Thu Dec 05, 2013 11:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Rolan wrote:
Anyway, for one reason or another it's been hard for me to get into town and actually meet up, but now I do her reply has contentious undertones which I don't need. Firstly, what's the attitude about, and do you check her or let it slide and just take note?
She is merely reflecting you.

The attitude came from you, into her, and back to you.

Author:  Rolan [ Fri Dec 06, 2013 12:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

That's what I thought first off, but she accentuated it in my opinion. Given the background, I don't think what I wrote was out of the ordinary or aggressive. Not consciously, anyway.

Slim, yeah but I don't have a special surprise for her. I just want to sit and shoot the breeze at most :lol:

Author:  Rolan [ Fri Dec 06, 2013 11:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Actually I did what I wanted anyway and ended up giving her a brief ticking off for being a brat(whether that is true or not). She apologised immediately and became far more compliant.

Lesson learnt though 8-)

Author:  Altair [ Fri Dec 06, 2013 2:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Id just not talk to her now, your pretty much waiting for space to reset the dynamic.

When and if it does remember to never try to consciously lead, because theyll resist to be a pain in the ass.

Youve moved on, to greener pastures as far as she knows.

Author:  Rolan [ Fri Dec 06, 2013 5:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Yep, I've initiated space protocol.
Altair wrote:
When and if it does remember to never try to consciously lead, because theyll resist to be a pain in the ass.
No matter how many times I decide to experiment with this, I'm always shown why I needn't have bothered in the first place. I just got an itchy trigger finger because I'd blown her off a couple of times and it seemed like slipping. I panicked over very little and made a tactical misjudgement :|

Author:  The Kidd!! [ Fri Dec 06, 2013 5:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Sounds about right :geek:

Author:  peregrinus [ Fri Dec 06, 2013 6:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Rolan wrote:
No matter how many times I decide to experiment with this, I'm always shown why I needn't have bothered in the first place.

I just got an itchy trigger finger because I'd blown her off a couple of times and it seemed like slipping.

I panicked over very little and made a tactical misjudgement :|
Indeed

3 very valid points

Look to the opposites and learn :D

Author:  Slim Titan [ Fri Dec 06, 2013 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Rolan wrote:
That's what I thought first off, but she accentuated it in my opinion. Given the background, I don't think what I wrote was out of the ordinary or aggressive. Not consciously, anyway.

Slim, yeah but I don't have a special surprise for her. I just want to sit and shoot the breeze at most :lol:
Women are always surprised by a dick, no matter how many times they've seen one. :lol:

Forgive my intrusion if you have no intention of giving her some dick.

Author:  Rolan [ Fri Dec 06, 2013 9:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

:D

I had no intention of giving her it anytime soon, even before this blip.

Author:  Sai [ Fri Dec 06, 2013 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Slim Titan wrote:
Rolan wrote:
That's what I thought first off, but she accentuated it in my opinion. Given the background, I don't think what I wrote was out of the ordinary or aggressive. Not consciously, anyway.

Slim, yeah but I don't have a special surprise for her. I just want to sit and shoot the breeze at most :lol:
Women are always surprised by a dick, no matter how many times they've seen one. :lol:

Forgive my intrusion if you have no intention of giving her some dick.
usually surprised if they have a preset idea about you...Me ( in my case :lol: )

I wouldn't lead with that though, I like letting the tension build up in proximity and whenever she starts the touching...Then I will respond in like.

nothing worse than leading with ur lil head.

Author:  Rolan [ Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Altair wrote:

When and if it does remember to never try to consciously lead, because theyll resist to be a pain in the ass.
Why do they have a problem with being consciously led? Why resist :lol:

I understand if they are still operating on subconscious level, but I don't believe this one is. Nor that I read innacurately. Women don't get much more blatant in their language(as I quoted in my penultimate paragraph in the OP)... All I had to do was walk into a room for her to acknowledge it(after not having seen me for 6 months), and then she made the play. I wasn't even thinking about it(yes I know).

Author:  GoldenBoy [ Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Rolan wrote:
Why do they have a problem with being consciously led? Why resist :lol:

I understand if they are still operating on subconscious level, but I don't believe this one is. Nor that I read innacurately. Women don't get much more blatant in their language(as I quoted in my penultimate paragraph in the OP)... All I had to do was walk into a room for her to acknowledge it(after not having seen me for 6 months), and then she made the play. I wasn't even thinking about it(yes I know).
You wouldn't have to lead her if you had other options (concurrence for her), or if you didn't care / need her that much. You're being too involved in her. You chase her (All of this is in her mind).

That's gotta be a turn-off to her.

Author:  Rolan [ Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

I agree on all counts GB, except for the options part because I have two other's chasing me down. The difference is....that whilst the other two options are still attractive to me, I actually want this one to be doing what they're doing :lol:

I'm just not sold on how it is that after she has initiated all this the way she has, that the slightest(though It obviously isn't that slight on a gut level) hint of leading/initation/chasing on my part causes resistance. Or rather, I am sold on it, I see that's it true, and I'm just coming to terms with it :D

Author:  The Kidd!! [ Sat Dec 07, 2013 4:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Quote:
I agree on all counts GB, except for the options part because I have two other's chasing me down.
Stop leaving shit out then. :|

Always be thorough in here...the written word is all we have to go on, and a crucial detail like that can change EVERYTHING. :geek:

Author:  Rolan [ Sat Dec 07, 2013 5:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Ok - Didn't even think about it being relevant at first, but I will.

The other two are options are one that I'd theoretically fuck but she's a mess otherwise - self absorbed and plays games, generally don't like her much as a human being. The other I wrote about in that thread today. Oh, and another. My hairdresser. I've got a compendium of stacked evidence, yet although I'd take them all to bed part of me is pretty apathetic to the prospect. Or rather than apathetic, I'm only willing to put in minimal effort - something I should have approached this other broad with in mind.

This one I've gotten a little too invested and have started projecting. So I'll just have to stay aware. Whilst the other's are on my nuts, this one interests me far more for her hidden qualities.

Author:  Slim Titan [ Sat Dec 07, 2013 8:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do you react to contentious behaviour?

Rolan wrote:
this one interests me far more for her hidden qualities.
And what might those be?

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