Like others have repeated above, there will never be any magical solution that will just make everything ok and make everyone "allow you to be the person you always wanted to be - free"
At some point you just have to make the decision to do it, fuck what others think.
I had an experience just this Monday evening that illustrates two points in this thread. Went to a friends BBQ party with a group of guys, all of us planning on heading to a music festival to see a band we like after some food and drink. All of these guys are closer with the party hosts than I am, and eventually when I was like "yo should we head over to this festival?" Everyone kind of blew the question off, I think because they were all having more fun than I was as they are all closer with each other than I am. I didn't push it but a little later, one more time checked if they were planning on leaving anytime soon. Again sort of just got dismissed.
So I thought to myself, I really want to see this band, fuck it, I'm leaving - without saying a thing. I knew later I would get texts from them, which I did "where you at bro, why you just take off?" It wasn't easy knowing I would catch flack, but you know what, I gave them multiple chances and I wanted to catch this band. Freedom to act how I wanted - in spite of the consequences (which will always be both bad and good because life is always two sides of the same coin, can't be happy without experiencing sadness yada yada)
At the show, I'm standing by myself. BY MYSELF!!
Do you think thoughts like "shit, everyone is seeing how big of a loser I am with no friends. I hope no one calls me out on being here alone. I hope no alpha makes fun of me for it...." didn't cross my mind. Of course they did, but because of years of employing my freedom
in spite of them, I didn't much more than barely notice these thoughts before they were gone.
Now what do you know, 2 not-bad-on-the-eyes-whatsoever girls keep looking back at me from about 30 ft away over the course of maybe 15 minutes, the blonde on the right holding gazes just a bit longer. Smiles, giggling when I see them and they turn away. Lots of evidence.
Yet the thoughts "what if there is someone behind me?" "what if it's the booze making me only think they are liking what they see" and a hundred more. But I say to myself, fuck it, I trust my observations. Do what you gotta do.
The walk over...Holy shit, 30ft is a long ass ways for tons more thoughts to pop in my head: "everyone is staring at you approaching, what if they see you get rejected, what if everyone laughs, what if the girls are mean and WERE actually making fun of you being by yourself" and on and on.
Dismiss, dismiss, dismiss. You've done this tons of times before, take that bet on yourself. Because there never is 100% certainty, except the certainty in your freedom to act however the fuck you choose.
Whoa, this blonde is even better looking up close. Carry on.
(Smile) "Hey guys!"