Plenty of writing on building a foundation on this site.
I'd like to share my perspective on it.
In my mind, we are really in a sea of infinite information. The internet is a tangible example, but it really begins biologically - we are hardwired for selecting from this sea: biologically on a sensory level, we filter out most of it. On a life choice level - we are constantly choosing. In every which way, we choose. We select.
This game IMO is really all about that selection process. Refining it to be life-enhancing. To save your time and yourself from wasted energy and trouble.
In order to make a selection however, you need to be selecting for something.
You need to know precisely what that is. When you are selecting for something it 'pops out' at you from the environment. IMO this is what is happening in things like 'the law of attraction' or 'asking the universe for what you want'. You have tuned in to look for something - that was likely always there, yet was buried in the sea of noise.
More than knowing 'who' you are - which is a very fluid concept (to quote Hitch
) you need to know how you want to be; and what it is that you want. I mean this in every life area. The way that I am thinking of this, is that foundation is rooted in knowing how you want to be - this being in your control, you are able to find your fulfilment in yourself regardless of circumstance. To my mind, this seems to be the basis of integrity, congruence, and by extension indifference.
Selection is of course... qualification...
It seems to me there is a sweet area in the degree of selectivity..
If the thing to be selected is too specific - you might pass up other very good, or even better, options.
If it's too broad, you may have too many options to deal with, and have trouble choosing smoothly.
In any case, I have found it very useful to play around with defining what it is that I am looking for - in relationships and in work.. I am playing with that degree of selection atm with some career choices... right now it is a little broad.. if/when they become options, then I might need to adjust that degree of specificity.. I can imagine the same happening in relationships.. depending on circumstances...