“When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of ‘getting to know you’ questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.

And he went wow. That’s amazing! And I said, ‘Oh no, but I’m not any good at any of them.’

And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: ‘I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.’

And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could ‘win’ at them.”
Kurt Vonnegut

From the cradle to the grave, you are measured against the ever-present yardstick of the average, judged according to how closely you approximate it or how far you are able to exceed it.

There’s an old proverb that goes, "Duos qui sequitur lepores neutrum capit"—"He who follows two hares catches neither." Perhaps that’s so, but he who chases two hares can at least have a great time trying, which can be more important in a good life.

To appreciate an accomplishment, compare it to your expectations from the past, not the present. Pride and joy come from imagining how "me 5 years ago" would've felt about an achievement.
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When you give people feedback or performance reviews, don't compare them to their peers. Compare them to their past selves so they can track their progress over time.
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Don’t strive to be the best. It creates an illusion of an endpoint—and a delusion that the goal is to be superior to others.
Strive to be better. The person you’re competing with is your past self, and the bar you’re setting is for your future self.
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Self-esteem is a stormy sea if you're trying to outdo others. It's smoother sailing when you're aiming to outdo yourself.
Your best rival is your past self, and your best role model is your future self. They don't taunt you or sabotage you—their sole purpose is to motivate you.