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Men are the gatekeepers of value http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=4721 |
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Author: | fufe [ Sat Jun 16, 2018 9:55 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
Can you write some examples about it?
I actually have one I'd like Peregrinus to confirm.This girl I know a little, we have lot of mutual friends and we meet regularly on events I attend We talk about some stuff, then she mentions, how she sees me talk with almost everybody, and that I get along with almost everyone It's hard to describe that moment into words on an online forum, but that sentence stood up to me. Would you say that was a communication of value ? Because I've noticed her trying to be nice and supportive to everyone, especially younger girl who aspire to do the thing she does themselves - I actually like her supporting people like that a lot, that is one of the things that got me attracted more |
Author: | peregrinus [ Sat Jun 16, 2018 10:41 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
She is describing you as a connector and someone who is socially aware both of value to people (and her) if she also manifests those values, it benefits her even more, by association and cooperation "shared values" |
Author: | PimpDee [ Sun Jun 17, 2018 8:53 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
Can you write some examples about it?
This girl I know a little, we have lot of mutual friends and we meet regularly on events I attendWe talk about some stuff, then she mentions, how she sees me talk with almost everybody, and that I get along with almost everyone Maybe with a foreigner even more because she explained me that in her city all people run fast and are cold...but other than that I don't know. Other examples could be useful to understand better |
Author: | peregrinus [ Sun Jun 17, 2018 9:35 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
I had couple of times this type of words coming from a girl's mouth but I saw it as a clear sign of interest (not as a sign of value that I know people/I can talk to strangers). Like compliments. Why would she be interested, I wonder...Could it be because you have value to offer that matches with what she wants/needs. GoldenBoy and TheDude both posted links on page 1 of this thread that are related to your question. |
Author: | TheDude [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:33 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
We talk about some stuff, then she mentions, how she sees me talk with almost everybody, and that I get along with almost everyone
fufe, maybe the sentenced stuck out to because it was pointing to something deeper in you than just the girl.
It's hard to describe that moment into words on an online forum, but that sentence stood up to me. |
Author: | fufe [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 7:01 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
Yes it feels like "Yes, I am that, I am glad you are noticing" kind of warm feeling I'd say I kind of wanted to notice it myself but didn't until now And maybe me liking that somebody likes me for what I am (or this part of me, for starters) That's the furthest I can see now But god I must say I like her warm personality |
Author: | Jared [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 7:40 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
Yes it feels like "Yes, I am that, I am glad you are noticing" kind of warm feeling
Also I'd say I kind of wanted to notice it myself but didn't until now And maybe me liking that somebody likes me for what I am (or this part of me, for starters) That's the furthest I can see now But god I must say I like her warm personality http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 191#p43191 |
Author: | fufe [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 8:49 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
More letting go of something you'd be hanging to internally - Which I can see myself in couple ways doing right now - so yeah ![]() |
Author: | PimpDee [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 9:23 pm ] | ||
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value | ||
I had couple of times this type of words coming from a girl's mouth but I saw it as a clear sign of interest (not as a sign of value that I know people/I can talk to strangers). Like compliments. Why would she be interested, I wonder...Could it be because you have value to offer that matches with what she wants/needs. GoldenBoy and TheDude both posted links on page 1 of this thread that are related to your question. I can understand that a woman can say nice things for tangible things like dress, work, house, car, whatever...that maybe she would like to have but for example knowing people in a place who is a "not tangible value"? I do not get it. ![]() |
Author: | peregrinus [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:21 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
To be honest I do not get it.
Her tap starts leaking...I can understand that a woman can say nice things for tangible things like dress, work, house, car, whatever...that maybe she would like to have but for example knowing people in a place who is a "not tangible value"? I do not get it. ![]() How long before you being able to handle plumbing is of value to her? Or you knowing a good plumber? Is that tangible? [Did you re-read the posts on page1? - add this to the list : https://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtop ... 729#p23729 ] |
Author: | zogler [ Sat Jul 07, 2018 10:00 am ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value | |
We propose that one of the bases of prejudice against love-based CNM relationships and the individuals who practice them, is zero-sum thinking about love—loosely defined as the perception that one person’s love gained is another’s love lost. We argue that some individuals engage in zero-sum thinking when interpreting love-based CNM relationships, and thus have a tendency to perceive these relationships and the parties to them as less valuable. We suggest that zero-sum thinking derives from underlying beliefs about relationship resources—that they are scarce (scarcity beliefs), and/or that an individual in a relationship deserves all of their partner’s relationship resources (entitlement beliefs).
https://tylerburleigh.com/pubs/Burleigh ... amists.pdf
First, individuals’ everyday experiences with scarce material resources in other domains may transfer to their understanding of abstract, romantic relationship resources like romantic love. Second, when individuals agree to be monogamous, they are typically agreeing to reserve certain behaviours (like physical intimacy) and emotions (like romantic love) for one other. Some individuals might believe that exclusivity means they are entitled to all of the time, attention, love, and intimacy that their partner has to give. In turn, this entitlement belief may lead to the perception that the love ‘spent’ on someone else represents a loss. |
Author: | peregrinus [ Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:13 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
In turn, this entitlement belief may lead to the perception that the love ‘spent’ on someone else represents a loss. So this, oh this, this again.
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Author: | zogler [ Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:07 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
Commitment is an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action; something that you must do or deal with that takes your time. Value is the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. Self-direction and autonomy are among the most important universal human needs. They are based on 2 variables: whether individuals can (a) choose how their time is spent and (b) whether they experience freedom in life. Therefore, commitment and autonomy are diametrically opposed to one another. Commitment produces negative emotions to the extent it violates (a) and (b). But different commitments offer different degrees of autonomy. For example, some jobs offer a high degree of autonomy in what hours you keep and how you do your work, which increases job satisfaction. Speaking of employment, the fulfillment of basic needs (food, shelter and clothing) requires income. Hence work commitments are essential because basic needs are even more important than autonomy. Look for work you are good at, work that helps others, and supportive conditions: engaging work that lets you enter a state of flow; supportive colleagues; lack of major negatives like unfair pay; and work that fits your personal life. -- Suppose you have done the work on yourself. You are good the way you are. You are the source of your happiness. You have assimilated this, this and this You don't need anything to be complete, you are already complete. Exchanges with the opposite sex then boil down to a statement of value: “This relationship is more valuable to you than me, so I have less to lose by walking out the door.” This perception of increased value results in greater authority and desirability. By not freely accepting any passing females, you communicate the value of your goods. Why commit in light of the aforementioned? Why commit when you are the prize, therefore no fear of loss? Why commit when it is impossible to predict or control the future? Why commit when sexual exclusivity decreases sexual desire over time? Even sticking to the higher plane of love, is it so very obvious that you can't love more than one person? We seem to manage it with parental love (parents are reproached if they don't at least pretend to love all their children equally), love of books, of food, of wine (love of Chateau Margaux does not preclude love of a fine Hock, and we don't feel unfaithful to the red when we dally with the white), love of composers, poets, holiday beaches, friends . . . why is erotic love the one exception that everybody instantly acknowledges without even thinking about it? —Richard Dawkins |
Author: | peregrinus [ Sun Nov 11, 2018 12:00 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
Thoughtful post indeed Even sticking to the higher plane of love, is it so very obvious that you can't love more than one person? We seem to manage it with parental love (parents are reproached if they don't at least pretend to love all their children equally), love of books, of food, of wine (love of Chateau Margaux does not preclude love of a fine Hock, and we don't feel unfaithful to the red when we dally with the white), love of composers, poets, holiday beaches, friends . . . why is erotic love the one exception that everybody instantly acknowledges without even thinking about it?
I suspect it has more to do with the perspective of the lovee than the lover.—Richard Dawkins
Speaking of employment, the fulfillment of basic needs (food, shelter and clothing) requires income.
Wise words to be taken into account.Hence work commitments are essential because basic needs are even more important than autonomy. Look for work you are good at, work that helps others, and supportive conditions: engaging work that lets you enter a state of flow; supportive colleagues; lack of major negatives like unfair pay; and work that fits your personal life. Something that often gets overlooked. |
Author: | zogler [ Mon Nov 12, 2018 5:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
High unemployment disciplines the capacity of workers to push for wages growth. If you create enough unemployment you will suppress wage demands given that workers, by definition, have to work to live. Trade union membership increases the capacity of workers to successfully achieve wage settlements. The unemployment rate reminds me of the ratio of single men to single women.. Abundance vs. scarcity... -- Win-win: Foreigners-locals relations Foreigners get to 'live like a local' along with more novelty and variety than the local fare. Locals get this along with more novelty and variety than the local fare. The further down the path of self-actualization you are, the more you just look for the absence of red flags and to have fun and be compatible with others. If they are also receptive to your mindset/knowledge and seek your guidance, it is the icing on the cake. Peregrinus and Kidd are among the giants on whose shoulders we are standing. Instead of seeing other men as competitors to put in a weaker or denigrated position, they see them as brothers to boost. Such an inspiration... Btw if it's a win-win situation does it always matter? When you both have a great time together? When he/she is a good prospect who may one day surpass you? -- Each gender is the gatekeeper of of whatever the opposite gender desires more. They say that men are the gatekeepers of commitment, while women are the gatekeepers of sex. Women are more responsible for reproduction and they enjoy sex more... Men are the gatekeepers of sex Commitment makes sense only financially when your income is inadequate to raise a family. Since men are more financially secure and enjoy higher incomes on average... Men are the gatekeepers of commitment But financial commitment doesn't require sexual exclusivity or "you are my everything" and "I just want to be your everything." You are there for your kids when they need you, you love and care them, and that's it.. Finding "The One" is overrated: emotionships matter more.. Different folks for different emotional strokes Contemporary people are increasingly relying on their spouses (and decreasingly relying on their broader social networks) to fulfill their higher level needs. Whatever happened to 'variety is the spice of life'? Consider monogamous, till-death-do-us-part marriage in light of Chaos Theory.. Chaos is the science of surprises, of the nonlinear and the unpredictable. It teaches us to expect the unexpected. Our lives are an ongoing demonstration of Chaos Theory and The Butterfly Effect. Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
Author: | zogler [ Tue Mar 26, 2019 5:34 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value | |
Other researchers have used the extended phenotype as a metaphor for different human cultural adornments such as Etcoff et al. (2011) who compared cosmetics to the extended phenotype because they significantly influence the perception of biologically important signals; or Morris et al. (2013) who compared high heels to the extended phenotype because they emphasize some attractive sex specific aspects of the female body and gait. In sum, human creations (such as makeup, corset, clothing, shoes, cosmetic implants) can be considered as phenotypic extensions because they are found in many different societies and their role is to improve the perceived biological fitness (Etcoff et al., 2011).
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/a ... 6319301791We suggest that gendered products, like cosmetics or high-heels, could transform the perception of the human body as a supernormal stimulus (i.e. super feminine or super masculine) to trigger a supernormal response (increased perceived attractiveness and desirability). That is, the normal stimulus of femininity or masculinity sent by human bodies and faces can be exaggerated with gendered products that produce a supernormal stimulus. We reviewed evidence showing that secondary sexual characteristics tend to increase physical attractiveness and desirability by increasing femininity or masculinity, and that gendered products, like cosmetics or high-heels, could transform the perception of the human body as a supernormal stimulus (i.e. super feminine or super masculine) to trigger a supernormal response (increased attractiveness). Our findings bear a closer connection to research on the consumption of products that allow for a direct manipulation of secondary sexual characteristics; such as makeup and cosmetics that exaggerate feminine facial features, clothes that exaggerate the feminine hourglass figure, or heels that exaggerate the feminine gait (Etcoff, 1999; Etcoff et al., 2011; Mileva et al., 2016; Morris et al., 2013). Look past their makeup, high heels and short skirts, and they are hot stuff no more. Once you are no longer distracted by this artificially high feminine beauty ideal and see it for what it is, male faces are more attractive than female ones on average. In part because women have set the bar high and when you realize it's a dud, you are underwhelmed. To add insult to injury, women are more emotional than men or they display higher negative emotionality if you will. 1 It seems to me that physically and emotionally, the average man boasts higher value than the average woman. |
Author: | fufe [ Tue Mar 26, 2019 6:58 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
male faces are more attractive than female ones on average.
I can't say I agree. Firstly, I am not a bisexual man as far as I know.. so I hardly find men attractive, I do like to check some cool muscles or good facial features, that's trueBut I like specific facial features in women, this is crucial for me especially when I see them without makeup.' Some features I think are widely liked by men (and women who like women), but some are liked by me and some % of men and women only I think, lol I wouldn't say men tend to be more attractive on average, how do you even objectively come to that conclusion ? I do agree with the supernatural reaction scientific part though |
Author: | Dali [ Wed Mar 27, 2019 4:43 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
male faces are more attractive than female ones on average.
I can't say I agree. Firstly, I am not a bisexual man as far as I know.. so I hardly find men attractive, I do like to check some cool muscles or good facial features, that's trueBut I like specific facial features in women, this is crucial for me especially when I see them without makeup.' Some features I think are widely liked by men (and women who like women), but some are liked by me and some % of men and women only I think, lol I wouldn't say men tend to be more attractive on average, how do you even objectively come to that conclusion ? I do agree with the supernatural reaction scientific part though I think this is not about sexual orientation or preferences, it is about some symmetry facial "facts" even though it seems "subjective" to make an assertion of this caliber, it's the same when we see a nice hip to waist ratio in a woman and automatically we want to tap that ass asap. Think about it fufe, in nature more specifically we the mamalian species, is the female who is the chooser so who's the one who needs to be on display of something she deems attractive (value wise)? Well, normally is the male. He is the one that has to be, again, ON DISPLAY of (insert value) /good genes or hotness/ at first sight, so it makes sense that the diversity and symmetry is more "abundant" on the male side of species because of a natural flow of causes. So the woman is the one who's on the PROWL searching for this specific model of males, ideally he's not posing but mery being value (in the best of chances). Now seeing how it really happens in this modern times, it's laughable what I just typed but it keeps being true because, woman this days didn't need providers (beta form of giving value to a woman) they can do that by themselves, but what about hot guys? well that is another story and very pertinent to what I said, because they cannot get that by working hard but they can "rent" this hot guys for fun (the woman Bachelorette parties confirm this this I wrote, and ignoring it is just naive) ![]() Think about how also pimps mastered this game of /demeanor/vibe/ (game), summary: a form of value, so the "bitches" only wish on their wettest dreams to be with this kind of guys. |
Author: | peregrinus [ Wed Mar 27, 2019 10:40 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value |
Think about it fufe, in nature more specifically we the mamalian species, is the female who is the chooser so who's the one who needs to be on display of something she deems attractive (value wise)? Well, normally is the male. He is the one that has to be, again, ON DISPLAY of (insert value) /good genes or hotness/ at first sight, so it makes sense that the diversity and symmetry is more "abundant" on the male side of species because of a natural flow of causes. So the woman is the one who's on the PROWL searching for this specific model of males, ideally he's not posing but mery being value (in the best of chances).
Stimulus response seems an apt phrase... a search turns up some interesting topics..
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Author: | Dali [ Thu Mar 28, 2019 5:13 am ] | ||
Post subject: | Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value | ||
Think about it fufe, in nature more specifically we the mamalian species, is the female who is the chooser so who's the one who needs to be on display of something she deems attractive (value wise)? Well, normally is the male. He is the one that has to be, again, ON DISPLAY of (insert value) /good genes or hotness/ at first sight, so it makes sense that the diversity and symmetry is more "abundant" on the male side of species because of a natural flow of causes. So the woman is the one who's on the PROWL searching for this specific model of males, ideally he's not posing but mery being value (in the best of chances).
Stimulus response seems an apt phrase... a search turns up some interesting topics..
To illustrate the point: Today I witnessed this same phenomenon, I was walking with my father running some errands on downtown, so one midly attractive girl (attire wise she was carefully clothed and seemed very elegant) so she passed beside me and she expected I return the side glance... (classical romantic movie scene) I see that, but didn't feel like it. So, I didn't. ![]() Guess what happened? My dad burped a solid chuckle because he was observing her reaction, ... She.got.maD. Literally she made a grin of disgust, the reason: I didn't reacted the way she wanted. Regards, |
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