There are focal points to questions and statements.
I keep shit real formal. I laser into to the focal point of her statement and make an assumption, ask a question, or repackage what she said back to her in a way that forces her to reveal more about herself.
Sometimes I'll engineer the conversation to topics that I like and want to hear about through mentioning something that reminded me of what she was talking about.
Sometimes when I decide to break formality, rarely, I ask questions that have to do with how she grew up.
You'll easily talk through 15 minutes to 4 hours on that topic alone, and you'll get her entire life story, half of the things you should know about her to be effective.
More importantly, you can get all the information you need through assumptions, questioning focal points, repackaging things she's said, and engineering topics.
Don't forget to make sure that you lay down your contract, your expectations, your vision/goals/dreams, your principles.
The contract and your principles are a must should be voiced in the first two to three times you speak before she starts making assumptions.
Repackage her values in a way that benefits you. Find out what she does and can do for you, and repackage what she can do for you so that she knows how she can put in effort to get you.
Edit: This post was way too long. Also, I'm formal because that allows her to choose me. I either let her move the conversation deeper, or I take the conversation deeper a very slow pace.
Being really good at conversing on formal topics, while dropping your contract and principles so she knows how to act early on, is a great skill.
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