Natural Freedom

In another post Aztecsfinest wrote this: This seems to happen a lot! It always bothers me (yeah, I know it shouldn't...) and I don't understand why it happens. The weird thing is that the girls who do this are girls that I swear were into me! Girls that are just friends never do this.

Sometimes girls that I swear were into me just start acting weird. For example: there was this girl I knew was visiting the same musicfestival as me. So I sent her a message to ask if she wanted to meet up. No reaction... Then my friend whom she also knows sends a similar text message the day after. She reacted pretty quickly to his message. I know she has already had a boyfriend at that time, so she didn't need to meet me for that purpose. But I swear she was at least somewhat attracted to me before. Now why would she not react to my message, but did she immediately react to the message my friend sent her? I don't have the impression she was ever attracted to my friend. So eventually we all meet up: me, two of my friends, this girl and her boyfriend. She introduces us to her new boyfriend. She was clearly and accurately monitoring my reaction when she did so! (oh, she didn't know that I knew she had a boyfriend. I already knew but she didn't know that.) After a while one of my friend decides to ask her why she didn't reply to my message...
Her reaction was like: A message? I didn't receive a message from Gonzo...
I said: You must have got it, because I sent it with conformation message.
Then she replied that she had a new phone-number.
So my friends says: Then how could you get my message?
Finally she admitted that she did get the message, but she didn't know it was me... That is what I mean by acting weird.
I'm sorry for the long story, but I didn't know how else to illustrate it.

But a lot of time girls just disappear from MSN, Facebook, or they just never text or call back again. I would understand this if they were not attracted at all, but I have the strong impression that most of them are!
This anyone have an idea why this happens...?

- Do her feelings get too strong? So strong that she can't handle it anymore?
- Did she find another boyfriend, so that she doesn't need you anymore? If so, are there changes she will come back?
- Or is she really just not into you anymore?

I know all of the above are possible explanations, but which is the most likely? I am talking about girls that are or were at one point clearly into you.

Gonzo

Bilions of reasons.... And another gazilion of unreasonable reasons..

I'm interested in what others have to say, so just ignore my post

Sounds like from the way you're writing this you were too invested in the beginning, did you tell your friend about the message you sent to this girl? cuz if you did that would probably explain why she was monitoring your reaction, she definitely knew you were invested.

It all comes down to neediness dude....for alot of issues that we've grown up with.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

No, I wasn't invested so much in her at all. I didn't contact her for at least half a year before this happened. Yes, I did tell my friend about the fact that she didn't reply to my message, but she didn't know that. And he didn't mention it in his message.

Anyway, I used this particular story just to illustrate how weird girls can act sometimes. I am not looking for an answer to this particular story.

But what I would like to know is: why do girls that seemed into me at first suddenly disappear.

I know it shouldn't bother me and I usually just let it go. It is beyond my control anyway. But still it makes me wonder...

Gonzo

She probably figured out that you did tell him because he asked her.

He wouldn't have known unless you told him.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

He asked her about this about half an hour after she introduced her boyfriend to us. So she didn't know at that moment. Anyway, forget this particular story, it is not that relevant to the topic. It just serves as an example.

It is relevant because you're refusing to acknowledge what makes them 'disappear'.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

OK... I'll have to admit you are probably right. So it must be neediness then.

Actually I may have been slightly needy to her a couple of years before this incident happened... Damn! Women must have really sensitive radars to pick this up. More sensitive than I thought...

Thanks for pointing this out to me.

I would still like to hear what others think about this though...

Gonzo

Indeed, you were invested. Prior to this more recent incident, it leaves to her NO ROOM TO CHASE YOU, and plus; she had a preamble on your intentions, and a big antecedent of your invenstment to her.

For me in matters of investment:

What we men consider subtly... some women consider being OK, sometimes MUCH.
What we men consider normal... most woman consider being JUST TOO DAMN MUCH.

Needy and you where subtly chasing her, but nontheless chasing... (My exp: I did that to a lovely 17 who used to jock me big time, then she approached me first, and show me clear signs... then when I front blasted her, she freaked out, maybe due to her... [Gazzillion reasons])

What you did, is the opposite mindset we're sinking in our beings here.

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GMST

we will never understand female logic so it's best to go with David X's two rules And not try to figure out or control what is beyond our control...

just yesterday a girl I knew deleted me from facebook for a reason in which I don't understand. All I did is comment on one of her pictures with something I thought was funny.
I wasn't being rude or offensive with my joke (at least I didn't think I was....)- but maybe she thought I was (I don't know...)

Also it could be that her boyfriend told her to earse me

or it could be that she feels something for me but she has a boyfriend and so she doesn't want me on her friends list.

or there could be other different reasons....

we will never understand female logic so it's best to just not try to figure it out....

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Yeah, I know. You are right.

But I just thought if we could figure this out we might learn something from it. If we could find one simple reason for girls that suddenly decide to disappear out of our lives, then we would have solved a problem. But if there is a billion reasons for it, then it is impossible to solve.

I'm a curious person by nature, so it always makes me wonder what happened.

Gonzo

maybe not a 'billion' but there could be at least 50+ reasons in female logic.
female logic doesn't make sense for the most part so it's better to not even try....

edit: since most women are shallow and stupid they often don't even know why they are doing things while men (for the most part) can explain why they are doing something.

male logic is much easier than female logic

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Dali wrote: I am definitely in the first group of men nowadays. But probably still doing to much... So all we men really can do is sit back, relax and be content with ourselves. And we choose from the women that are attracted to us. Man, this is really the lazy man's guide to getting laid! I love being lazy!

OK, we still have to work on ourselves. But I am doing that anyway. I only have to tweak my mindset to contentment and indifference. And clean my subconscious of all the rubbish I accumulated there over the years. Hmmm, it is still going to be some hard work, but not impossible.

Gonzo

Not quite shure if this is true, disagree with the 'stupid' [aseveration on your comment], agree on the 'shallow' [aofyc]... (who run the world?) It's like the sense of entitlement some woman use just for the sake of being woman. Remember TheKidd!! article of Who is a pimp?, woman are pimps by nature because they have what every man want, the pussy.

Overall, for me; woman don't know what they want.

They only react to what they need.

Maybe in the moment they dissapear, subconsciously they didn't saw what they need in you as a person.

Shalom.

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GMST

ok fair enough

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

For the record, I understand female logic just fine...it's easy to comprehend something which does not exist.

Case in point: This black chick hit my car the other night as my keeper and I were bringing home some take out. It was CLEARLY her fault...but no one was hurt and the damage was minimal. So I suggested that as long as she understood that she was at fault, we could exchange insurance information and be on our way. For some reason, she was convinced it was my fault and wanted to wait for the police. My girlfriend started to light her up when I tapped her on her leg (she was standing...I was sitting on the curb) and told her quit...which she promptly did.

So we waited there for an hour and a half for the police to show up. The chick who tagged us came over to where we were sitting a few times and kept trying to justify why I was wrong...I must have repeated the scenario as it happened to her twice before I finally just starting saying, "We'll see what the cop says...".

Finally the police officer showed up, got all the details, and not only concluded that she was at fault but also gave her a citation for not yielding to traffic that had the right of way. Had she done it my way, she only would have had to worry about her insurance going up from my car damage...because of her so called 'logic', not only does she have that to contend with, but also a traffic ticket, court, points and fines to deal with...which could indirectly cause her insurance premium to increase even more than it would have from just my damage being claimed on her policy.

I wanted to tell her that calling the cops would only net her a ticket as well, but hey, you can't reason with the unreasonable.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

OK... this explains it all. No more questions.

This!

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

From my perspective, you gave the impression you were after something. Or she fell under the impression that you were after something. Your friend did not give off this impression. The reason she denied receiving your text message was because she felt under some kind of pressure.

Also this woman is not a match to you. I'm not referring to relationship/love elements. It's more of status thing. She is just not a match to you as a living being. One of your egos (yours or hers) is getting in the way.

More or less the same problem. I also get a strong feeling that you are tense (intense?) in your interactions with women without being aware of it. Facebook and MSN are slightly different fields though - especially Facebook. If I was ever on Facebook, I would talk to myself, make lots of activity but without actively contacting people.

In any interaction of any kind, the central focus point should always be you. Look again at your messages, are you focusing on yourself....or are you focusing on her?


PS Gonzo, your questions are very good and extremely valid.

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Sparkling All Over

Aha! This explains it! She actually contacted me before the festival and mentioned we should have a "beer drinking date". I now remember (this happened about a year ago...) that I mentioned something about a "date" in the message I sent her. She probably took that the wrong way, i.e. she thought I was after something.

Could you elaborate on this? I don't quite understand what you mean by this. Examples maybe?
Yeah, sometimes. I sometimes still (subtly) try to get something from women (attention, sex). I am aware of this, but mostly after the interaction is over. After the interaction I sometimes think: Shit, I shouldn't have done that. This happens because society conditioned men (including me off course) to "work" in order to get a women. I hear friends talking about it all the time, about "putting in some work" to get a woman. It is hard to get rid of this conditioning even though I am aware of it.
Actually I hate Facebook! I only have Facebook because in modern society you kind of have to communicate with people. I might be missing out on things if I don't have Facebook. I actually thought of deleting my account, but I didn't do it yet. I hardly ever contact people through Facebook. I only reply if they contact me. But I also don't maintain my profile very well, so actually I don't have a good "front" on Facebook...
I'll try to remember this. Good tip!

Gonzo