Been a while, yeah? Hope you guys have been well (saying your prayers, eating your vitamins, ect).
I've been hanging out with this girl recently. I went to high school with her (we now go to the same college, seniors now). All her friends are graduated and most of them are already gone off to their various jobs around the country, and she says she won't have anyone to hang out with after that, so we've decided to hang out as many of my friends have also left.
However, I really like her. As in like like. She knows it, too, I think. I had a big crush on her and high school, and I even gave her a Valentine's gift once back then. Now the old emotions are coming back, and I feel she is girlfriend material for sure.
I feel the interest is minimal on her part, but still there. She is comfortable with my touch to an extent. She will hug me if I want. The hug is oddly neutral. No hesitation or back patting, but nothing that would indicate attraction either. The hugging feels natural despite our lack of strong rapport. She doesn't budge at all when I touch non-invasive places like her arm. Good signs, but not strong signs. Other than that, I cannot read her well at all. However, she is not a very outwardly emotional person. Almost stoic, really.
The problem is that she is extremely modest. This girl has never had a boyfriend, never had sex, or even kissed a guy before. She was not raised in a religious home, it's just who she is. Her sister has dated plenty of guys and is extremely social (by comparison, anyway). Sex is not a comfortable topic for her, though she doesn't get offended or huffy if I talk about boobs or something, she might warn me with a "Pokemon Trainer....".
I really want a romantic relationship with her. I'm not looking for just sex right now, because every time I become intimate with a woman she bounces afterward (a topic for another thread). I want to be friends first then more later, but I can't be as assertive as I usually am because she's so modest. How can I be her friend without getting friendzoned? How can I get into a relationship with this girl without scaring her off? I need to take my time, this I know, but if I take too long or I'm not assertive enough I may just become a pal and nothing more.
I wonder if jealousy might serve me here.. I made out with a girl last week (because I thought she wanted to be my girlfriend) but it fell through! Should I tell her this?
I also fear she might be awkward because her dad died in march.... At the risk of sounding very sleezy, is this a factor worth considering? How might it affect our interaction? Fathers can have an effect on the romantic lives of their daughters in many ways, as I'm sure you know.
Comments, advice and thoughts are appreciated.
_________________ “I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."
-Thoreau's Walden
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