I'm also doing this to make it easier for her also.
One small aspect that helped and helps me somewhat, as well.
To feel less anxiety/nervous for being social and going up to a girl/women, and for feeling less anxiety/nervous for initiating some physical contact.
One day I asked myself. Why do I go up to/approach a woman?
My first obvious answer was: Because I think she looks attractive + I'm in the mood for it.
Then I asked myself, is there another reason?
And I noticed for me there was. The other reason for me came in forms of questions like: "What if she likes me on first sight, but doesn't dare to/know how to approach me? What if she likes me and is sending invites/signals that I don't see/register/notice/to subtle to notice for me?
So the reason I also approach/start a conversation with a girl, is to make it easier for her to show her interest (if she has it).
One day I asked myself also. Why do I start physical contact with a woman?
My first obvious answer was again: Because I think she looks attractive + she has responded positive to and in the conversation + I'm not turned off by her personality + I'm in the mood for it.
Then I asked myself, is there another reason?
And I noticed for me there was, again one. The other reason for me came in forms of questions like: "What if she likes to kiss/have sex/get physical with me (also), but doesn't dare to make that move? What if she likes to get physical with me and is sending signals that I don't see/register/notice/to subtle to notice for me?
So the reason as well I start/initiate physical contact with a girl, is to make it easier and more comfortable for her to start touching/getting physical with me (if that is what she wants).
The reason I think it helped me to be a bit less nervous/anxious; for striking up conversation and starting getting physical with a women is.
That before (from pua days) I adopted the believe I had to start a conversation and start getting physical, just because I want it ("I am an alpha male that goes for (and gets) what he wants" type of idea) and that if she responded negative I needed to persist and try to plow through the tests or whatever. That idea made me more nervous/anxious up front about it.
Nowadays I have become to see it in such a way, that I’m also doing this for her(the ones that are interested in me), so to make it easier for women that are interested in me. And the reason I do it also, is to come in contact with the ones that are interested. I nowadays feel no need anymore (like from my pua days) to persist or try to change the minds, when encountering reactions that show (as I read it) she isn’t interested. Also I nowadays see, going up to woman that shows she isn’t interested in me, as a little mistake/mistjudgement I made in my initial calibration/idea of thinking I did see/notice she showed some signal(s) of interest and would like to get in conversation with me. But sometimes I have the feeling/thought that I can only understand and get to know for sure if my idea that I thought she showed some signale of first sight interest in me, is to do so by striking up a conversation with her.
Anyone thinks something, of that what I have come to now? Anyone can relate? Or have come to other “conclusions” or has other experiences?
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