well this is a very importent part of the process and we have talked about it on this thread:
http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 1738#p1738
(I want it to be here so people will have an easier access to it)
question for The Kidd:
How did you dig deep and find out what your inner issues are? did you just sit in your room and think about it until everything came up?
and once you found out what they were, what did you do to change them?
I just focused until I became in tune with my subconscious mind, which is kind of dangerous because the subconscious mind protects your conscious mind for things that it feels you may not be ready to handle the truth about. Luckily for me, I am hardy enough to face my demons head on and put them to bed. Once again, another SIMPLE concept...definitely not EASY.
But yeah, I sit in a quiet room or and just go through my head like a microfiche...I would visualize and identify situations that would make me feel a certain way, and then break them down to myself.
For example, I used to have approval seeking behavior, and can tell when I may be starting to relapse sometimes. This stems from being bullied as a kid, never really fitting in with the "cool kids", and feeling like my mother only gave me negative attention...i.e. if I did something wrong she'd be all over me, but if I did something right, she would wouldn't even acknowledge it, and if I brought it up, she would say something like, "This is what's expected of you, therefore it is no big deal." So, I have since made peace with these past parts of my life and as a result, don't really care what people think about me to a point.
and peregrinus continued:
This is KEY in my view, something I did a lot of myself.
for more information and to read the full posts and comments
Also being present enough to notice when these things come up in your day to day life and any triggers you may have been unaware of are fired. Then taking the time then and there to let yourself feel what you are feeling rather than dismiss it or cover it up, take notice of it and deal with it (possibly filing it away with a note to self to look at it at some later time alone also).
Purposefully putting yourself in situations YOU KNOW trigger you, so that you can really feel those feelings and emotions, deal with them properly, get used to feeling them, seek out the root issues and causes.
Reliving situations that put you in certain emotional states and finding the root causes is a powerful tool, again people like the easy road rather than the effective one.
'I stopped fighting my inner demons, we're on the same side now'
click on the link (above) which will take you to the original thread...