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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:26 pm 
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Ok, so one of my fears that has always lingered somewhere below the surface just came to be last night.

I met up with the hottest of the girls I’m now seeing as she texted me “come out, I want to see you badly”. Originally met at a bar a few weeks ago, we hung out 3 times since then, slept with her the last two times. It was her, plus 2 other girls and 3 guys that I didn't know and then me. She was fairly drunk already when I got there, we had a few drinks then decided to go to another bar.

At this bar she got definitely drunk and twice, grabbed me and started making out.

Probably 15 minutes later max, a random dude comes up and starts hitting on her while we were standing side by side at the bar. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but whatever.

They start dancing in front of me and her friends while I can see her friends out of the corner of my eye looking to see how I would react, and then they wander off to the way back corner and start making out, while I’m trying to keep a poker face with all her friends there.

I go to the front part of the bar (a separate room) and order a beer and chat with the bartender that I am acquaintances with, when the girl and this guy walk past me and leave the bar together. Chatting with the bartender I only happened to notice once they were past me with their back to me walking out the door.

Finish my beer and leave. About an hour later at 1:45am I get a text from her saying “I’m sorry”. Didn’t respond, went to bed.

My heads kind of fucked up right now as this has never happened to me, yet I always subtly feared this situation happening. I strangely feel good and free, as this thing I feared actually happened and I survived and am doing fine. 2) I’m proud of how little I reacted outwardly even though inside I was in absolute shock. The fucked up part is that I figured she was probably seeing other people too, but never expected it to happen right in front of me. I also have a small excitement of “cool, time to get out and allow some other hotties to choose me”, as I was spending a lot of my free time over the past month fitting 3 girls into my schedule and not able to go out solo much.

Then today, I get a text from her saying “Sorry about last night”. I didn’t respond.

A few hours later get another text from her saying “For what it’s worth I really do like you . Acted like an idiot last night but was excited to see you.” I haven’t responded.

Not really sure where to go from here, don't feel like responding, but have a few things in mind if she pursues it any further

(as a side note, I have been really feeling and processing all the chaos that is going on within me today over this, both bad and good emotions/thoughts, and feel I’ve come to peace over the whole situation and learned a lot. No more than a half hour later, the friend of the friend girl who I met earlier last night at our happy hour, the one who dated the fat multi-millionaire and sold all the stuff he bought her on ebay while still dating him, she friend requested me and sent a message asking if I wanted to hang out this weekend. That one came unexpectedly out of left field 8-) )


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:32 pm 
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Man...so much fun to be had with this one. :twisted:

Deal with the others for now (get the new chick to spend some LOOT on you...she knows that you KNOW she's got it! :lol:)...let the dead space eat her ALIVE...you're gut will tell you when it's time to act. :ugeek:

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 9:52 pm 
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StephenP wrote:
I go to the front part of the bar (a separate room) and order a beer and chat with the bartender that I am acquaintances with,
I approve of this.
StephenP wrote:
I strangely feel good and free, as this thing I feared actually happened and I survived and am doing fine.
^^^THIS!!!

Really think about that one....

It is a massive step and realisation....

It happened, right in front of you and you are ..... FINE!!!



P.S. I also agree with Kidd's comments, wholeheartedly.... spacey spacey

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 10:52 pm 
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Also to echo 'Grinus...for you to take a lick like that?...IN PERSON?!?...and then show no reaction to her at all?!? :shock:

Man...that is EPIC status right there! Good fucking man for ignoring the shit out of her texts, too! Her mind is so fucking blown right about now...she's completely discombobulated! :twisted:

Leave her completely the fuck alone...after you see what this bitch decides to do as her own guilt and insecurities consume her, you'll wonder why you hadn't done it this way sooner! :mrgreen:

Can we Treasure Chest this? :geek:

ATTENTION ALL MEMBERS TO WHOM IT APPLIES...read this shit and take some fucking notes...because the way Mr. P handled this situation is fucking TEXTBOOK. :ugeek:

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 11:43 pm 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
Also to echo 'Grinus...for you to take a lick like that?...IN PERSON?!?...and then show no reaction to her at all?!? :shock:

Man...that is EPIC status right there! Good fucking man for ignoring the shit out of her texts, too! Her mind is so fucking blown right about now...she's completely discombobulated! :twisted:

Leave her completely the fuck alone...after you see what this bitch decides to do as her own guilt and insecurities consume her, you'll wonder why you hadn't done it this way sooner! :mrgreen:

Can we Treasure Chest this? :geek:

ATTENTION ALL MEMBERS TO WHOM IT APPLIES...read this shit and take some fucking notes...because the way Mr. P handled this situation is fucking TEXTBOOK. :ugeek:
Notes taken!

Mr. P, you are a stone cold pimp and you don't even know it.

Perfectly fine to have those feelings because that's just the monkey in you who wants to brain that fool with a bone club for threatening the passage of your genes to the next generation. Fortunately, you're human and humans are capable of transcending beyond the primitive reach of their innate nature. And that is exactly what you did on that night.

Chapeau, mon ami!

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-Thoreau's Walden


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 1:56 am 
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Hats off for that big pair of don't give a fuck balls!


THIS FUCKING BIG FAT THING:

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2468&hilit=dealing+with+jealousy

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 4:17 am 
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Wow! Have so much more to comment on...

First, I wanted to share some insight on the thought process involved in this decision:
Quote:
I go to the front part of the bar (a separate room) and order a beer and chat with the bartender that I am acquaintances with,
It was like when you barely avoid a near accident. A thousand thoughts run through your head in a second, everyone perfectly clear when looking back, and you instinctively grab onto THE best option in that same second. The very first thought was to fucking leave, but then the next quick thoughts were 'no, then she will think she has gotten to you and you either stormed out angrily or ran out crying'

Many more clear thoughts passed through, when all of a sudden my gut latched onto - go to another part of the bar and chill, collect yourself. At least then she will either realize this dude is a douchebag and come back to you, or she will see that you are not affected (outwardly). So I went with this. GUT

They had to see me sitting there unaffected, at least on the outside, chatting with the bartender when they passed. And, because I was involve in my conversation with the bartender, which also took my chaotic mind off the matter, I didn't see them until they were heading out the door. But, again, I KNOW she/they saw me.

Thanks for the CONfirmation 'Grinus:
Quote:
Quote:
StephenP wrote:
I go to the front part of the bar (a separate room) and order a beer and chat with the bartender that I am acquaintances with,
I approve of this.
And:
Quote:
Quote:
StephenP wrote:
I strangely feel good and free, as this thing I feared actually happened and I survived and am doing fine.
^^^THIS!!!

Really think about that one....

It is a massive step and realisation....

It happened, right in front of you and you are ..... FINE!!!
So fucking true!! I feel a ton of other irrational fears have fallen away upon realizing this as well.

Onto The Kidd!!
Quote:
(get the new chick to spend some LOOT on you...she knows that you KNOW she's got it!)
Genius! This just reinforces the fact that nothing is COINCIDENCE. She mentioned this for a reason.

And @ you and 'Grinus, appreciate confirming that no response (SPACE) was the way to go. My rationale for this was a saying I heard once, that had a great impact on me. "Whenever you are unsure of how to act in a situation, Do nothing". Meaning allow yourself time to process, give yourself the space to let your gut react properly.

@The Pokemon Trainer
Quote:
Mr. P, you are a stone cold pimp and you don't even know it.

Perfectly fine to have those feelings because that's just the monkey in you who wants to brain that fool with a bone club for threatening the passage of your genes to the next generation. Fortunately, you're human and humans are capable of transcending beyond the primitive reach of their innate nature. And that is exactly what you did on that night.

Chapeau, mon ami!
Appreciate the swingers reference :lol:

And so spot on with your comment.

The french meaning? - "hat's off to you, my friend" ???

@Dali: That post was literally life changing for me, as I struggled with jealousy my whole life. READ THAT POST IF YOU HAVEN'T. As it has been said many times, all the answers are here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Onwards, this whole situation led to MAJOR epiphanies in two ways ~

1) I can't find the recent post talking about how boys are no longer initiated into manhood through trial by fire, involving possible risk of death even. But this was definitely trial by fire for me. I (very) loosely compare it to the social version of (what I envision) combat to be like. There was zero time for thought, everything done was on pure instinct alone (which unconsciously considers all past learnings. i.e. from reading this site inside and out). So many emotions and thoughts, far too many to consider them all, that you can ONLY react from your gut and nothing else.

2) This was a turning point. I was raised to be a nice guy and treat everyone good because "this will get you into heaven". It was, through this experience, drilled into my brain how self serving humans can be and no longer feel bad about serving my own best interests. Treating others in kind. I'm still chewing on this one!


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 Post subject: Little confused.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 8:51 am 
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@SthepenP

You said it was a BIG issue for you (and for me still), but why do you relate being "fine" after she left you for the other guy, with a male rite of passage? Do you connect this with some sort ancestral masculinity or like a impertutbability of character? The big guys, like always, pointed rigthly that this way of dealing with it have the effect of a big status rockstar, and this is a very pimpish way because you witheld your emotions in person, so far so good. And I know most of the people inside matrix would be running after the pussy, or doing some "stupid shit" after this scene, but there's something that just doesn't click for me or I have insufficient data. Maybe because I have the "emotional investing theme" still running in my mind, and in this context I filter it like you: dodged a symptom like a champ (dealing with YOUR jealousy on the run) rather than adressing the root (realizing beforehand YOUR possesiveness with girls). I think this is why you equate it like a war, because you where caught in the line of fire by surprise.

The point I'm trying to make it's because the after: "emotions and confusion you felt", which I consider normal human response before a apparent"loss you felt" (the girl choosing another partner for coitus, that's the automatic trigger, or so I think), but as with the dealing with jealousy post of TheKidd!! refers... Is this really the way?

I'm confused.
Maybe I'm thinking too daaamn much this post.....

And I know in the long run the only way to get to this point is by experience it myslef.
Quote:
P.D.:

I Lol'd so hard this word:
"discombobulated"

What the hell means that? In this context "Extreme confusion mixed with sexual arousal"?
I wonder what this girl feels inside, it has to be something intoxicating and new. And it's all in her tiny head.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 1:38 pm 
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never had this happen so blatantly, but Stephen P, you handled it bewtiphully :lol: ! glad you didn't give her the opportunity to feel over valued.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 2:37 pm 
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Damn Dali...up until this point I had no idea you were still this far behind the power curve...you cloaked that shit VERY well. :geek:

Me. P saying he's 'fine' doesn't mean he's emotionless or wasn't bothered...he means it more like the world didn't end...meaning that one of the worse possible things that could happen when dealing with females DID (even I have yet to experience a situation like this)...and at the end of the day, he looked around and realized that it didn't kill him or even maim him...therefore he's fine...he SURVIVED...and he survived fucking EPICALLY. :mrgreen:

I sense some jealousy in you...envious that he could handle that the way he did...you don't think you could be that strong were it to happen to you...that makes you feel inferior and insecure and doubtful...almost like you can't believe he actually did this...and now you're projecting that bullshit into Mr. P for the desired effect of making him question himself. I'm not gonna give you a lot of shit about it because I believe it was unintentional and subconscious...but now that I've brought it to your conscious mind's attention, be mindful of this going forward.


Translation: DON'T PULL THIS BACKHANDED BULLSHIT AGAIN. :geek:

...and yes, Dali...this IS DEFINITELY the way. 8-)

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 3:01 pm 
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Stephen, your lasts few posts have impressed the fuck out of me...tattoo what Kidd and 'G said on the back of your eye lids, let the space drive her fucking nuts. Great thread!

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 3:28 pm 
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Stephen you got balls the size of church bells. Awesome!

Epic thread

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 4:13 pm 
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StephenP wrote:
My rationale for this was a saying I heard once, that had a great impact on me. "Whenever you are unsure of how to act in a situation, Do nothing". Meaning allow yourself time to process, give yourself the space to let your gut react properly.
Indeed.
StephenP wrote:
I (very) loosely compare it to the social version of (what I envision) combat to be like. There was zero time for thought, everything done was on pure instinct alone (which unconsciously considers all past learnings. i.e. from reading this site inside and out). So many emotions and thoughts, far too many to consider them all, that you can ONLY react from your gut and nothing else.
This in my view is a very acurate analogy.

--

Dali: I cannot help the feeling that you are projecting. You also seem to be missing the very thing that StephenP is pointing to with his finger and instead concentrating on the finger, rather than the moon which it points towards.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 4:31 pm 
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Introspection time, Dali...introspection time. 8-)

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 4:58 pm 
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Dali,

A couple things, any hardship/intense situation that you go through will forge you into a stronger more assured individual. Having the right mindset in tow, 10 fold.

That’s why I said “very loosely” comparable. I wasn’t going to die, but until you actually go through the experience, your mind will make goddamned sure you will feel like you might.

The Kidd!! covered that perfectly in his last post.

From your post, I get the feeling somewhere in you is still the unrealistic hope that one day you will all of a sudden just not experience jealousy or nervousness or confusion or whatever. Magic bullet thinking. However, this is absolutely unattainable. You simply get better at dealing with these emotions, so that they no longer overtake your logic and ability to act correctly. This comes through awareness, observation and experience. You will fuck up. It was all the TONS of fuck ups I went through previously that allowed me to handle this situation.

Even the biggest rock stars in the world, who have performed for massive stadium crowds hundreds of times say they still get nervous (some even extremely terrified) before EVERY performance. They just know, through experience, that when the moment comes, they got it.

Lastly, re: the jealousy thread. I didn’t just read that short 10 sentence post by The Kidd!! and bam, it was gone. As Kidd!! has said many fucking times, the path is laid out for you here, but it’s up to you to put in the hard, sometimes painful work. I read that post many times, then I ran hundreds of previous situations where I got jealous, rethinking through the situation with the new perspective Kidd!!’s post provided me. And, because this was such a nagging fear of mine what happened in the OP, I have also ran that situation through my head many many times, considering as many different alternative ways one could respond. It takes work


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 5:48 pm 
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StephenP wrote:
any hardship/intense situation that you go through will forge you into a stronger more assured individual.... As Kidd!! has said many fucking times, the path is laid out for you here, but it’s up to you to put in the hard, sometimes painful work... It takes work
I'll co-sign this.

I put in bloody months worth the work to get where I am now... and there's still more work to be done... And take it from someone who very recently went through intensive pimp training: if you want to become pimp tight, you must put in the work. Not just reading, not just hanging out on the forum, but actually going out and dealing with broads and doing true introspective work.

Even if you agree with the philosophy of the path of pimp tightness, you will never truly believe and internalize what is taught here unless you grab your backpack, put on your safari hat, and head out into the wilderness.

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-Thoreau's Walden


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 6:02 pm 
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The Pokemon Trainer wrote:
I put in bloody months worth the work to get where I am now... and there's still more work to be done...
The work never ends, Groundhog day doesn't just last 90 minutes.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 7:05 pm 
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Star_Above wrote:
The Pokemon Trainer wrote:
I put in bloody months worth the work to get where I am now... and there's still more work to be done...
The work never ends, Groundhog day doesn't just last 90 minutes.
I think you're right. There doesn't seem to be an end in immediate sight.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 7:37 pm 
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:oops:

@TheKidd!! and peregrinus:
Thanks for the heads up, I'm not gonna lie: I was sleep deprived and very bored when I replied to this thread, that's what my monkey mind does, and it's not an excuse, for the most part the probable thing was that I were full projecting. Guess that I'll never reply to a thread when my mind is tired and full of shit. It just messess up the variables in my head.

If it was conscious or subconscious it's still there. So come what may.
Notes taken about instrospection.

I suspected the very same as you TheKidd!! I think since I came here I wasn't advanced an inch, or just pretending that I was advanced. But I'm just stubborn and pretentious boy when dealing with shit, some internal defense system.

I will not take any more space in the SthepenP thread without adding something valuable, nor another thread.

@Stephen

I'm Sorry If my reply reads like envy or doubtful towards you, it's just that this theme it's a little bit ahead of me and ("I'm suffering for it") I didn't understand it or didn't want it, like closing my eyes.

@to Dali:
I guess you're on the wrong track again D'... :(
Let a big time pass 'till you start to post again. Good luck.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 7:39 pm 
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Quote:
I think you're right. There doesn't seem to be an end in immediate sight.
Yes...the ShitCanary is right. 8-)

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Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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