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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:36 pm 
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Hey guys this is another nice article by Cameron Teone I'll copy and paste a few parts, give link to the full article and then: give my thoughts...

Quote:
Cameron Teone\ The Pros & Cons of “Indifference” in Dating:

How does Indifference Work?
What Are the Requirements?
When does it backfire?
What type of women/girls best respond to this?

How does Indifference Work?

Its chief design is to create, or rather trigger, an emotional response in people by providing the appearance that you have higher value and to further trigger that “people want what they can’t have” type of situation.

This is generally a sound concept, but there is an enormous piece of the puzzle most guys overlook. That piece, a prerequisite to making Indifference functional, happens to be “Attraction.”

During a conversation with a girl, you can apply “Indifference” by having the attitude of “I don’t really care.” It’d resemble the following attitude: “You want to go out on a date? Sounds great. You are not interested in seeing me? OK, no biggie. There are other girls who are interested.”

It’s not angry, nor is it being bitter. It is what it exactly indicates: Indifferent. Lacking emotion towards any issue makes you indifferent. Hey, random Joe blow doesn’t like chicken sandwiches. You’d say, “OK, so what?” That’s being indifferent.

Indifference, in and of by itself, is not an end-all be-all solution.

Case and Point: If you live in the U.S, you’ve probably walked into a 7-11 (or equivalent) convenience store at some point and have had a vagrant ask you for money. Now, on some occasion, you probably even gave that homeless individual some change out of your pocket.

Pop quiz: If you walked to that same 7-11 and saw that bum asking everyone for money, except when it came to YOU, would you suddenly feel self-conscious? Would you think, “Man, why didn’t that bum smelling like a mixture of alcohol and urine ask ME for money?” Probably not...

Lesson here: You need some attraction for indifference to work. Whether it’s sheer physical looks, charm, wit, charisma, or your 1957 Corvette, you need some appeal.

you need some attraction, meaning she must be somewhat interested in you. You must appeal to her on some level.

If you do not, indifference will not be very effective for you. This is the part most men miss. They’re falsely under the impression that if they somehow stood in a corner facing a wall, and ignored a girl, somehow she’d be turned on and her juices would start to flow.
Quote:
“Indifference” vs. “Accountability” in Dating:

Some dating-advice wisdom leans towards indifference. Let’s define indifference as such advisors teach it. The overall ideology is something along the lines of the following:

-Don’t ever show that you care about her. Don’t show you like her. Don’t even act like a give damn if you ever went out with her. All of your actions should convey that you couldn’t possibly care less about her.

A common phrase that you’ll hear from people who apply to the indifference school of thought is: “Don’t give your power Away! Keep your power. Don’t give it away!”
To show that you care would be giving your power away. Why? Because now she can manipulate you. Now, she knows you like her and can hold that against you.

Like everyone else, I do run into girls who start to play these cute little games. Actually, I live in LA, so I get the entire spectrum of such women.

You call a girl on Tue, and invite her to some event on Sat. She tells you, “Not sure. Let’s talk on Friday.” Now, if you have gotten this reply, (and if you interact with a lot of girls, chances are you’re cringing right now) because you know that the odds of this whole thing coming together just plummeted faster than Enron Stock.

So what would Mr. Indifference advise you? The indifference advice is to not care. And just forget about it, and invite them to something else the following week nonchalantly. Or rather next time: Mr. Indifference would say that you shouldn’t even ask them out. However, that’s counterproductive too as you’ll see in my next article.

So what do you do?

- Introduce a bit of Accountability & Personal Standards -

In the last article, “The Preferred Response” line you read some examples of holding people accountable. But wait, if you did that, you’d no longer be indifferent.

If you said, “Hey, I’m looking forward to seeing you next Saturday. Let’s meet at 7:00 PM.” Then you just gave your power away. What a cardinal sin to Mr. Indifference. Can the cosmos handle such diverse patterns of behavior within the same time space continuum?

But then, if you care too much about seeing her, you may appear to be desperate. What do you do?

Real Life Example
So let’s revisit a likely scenario:

It’s Sunday afternoon. You call a girl and invite her to spent time on Thursday evening. Simple enough, correct?

She gives you wishy-washy answers. (If she has other legit previous engagements, then that’s fair.) If she said, I’m having dinner with President Obama and the other heads of State on that night, that is a fair as well as firm response. We’re not talking about that.

We’re talking wishy-washy answers such as, “I think that might work. Let’s talk again on Wednesday night.”

Do you know what that really means?

“If nothing better comes up, then I’ll hang with you.”

That’s what a wishy-washy answer is. You’re a back up plan if nothing else better comes up.

Here is where you hold her accountable. Yes or no. None of this, “Let’s talk again. If she can’t live her life with some sort of a discipline, then fine. You can’t change how other persons choose to live their lives. However, you do have the ability to cut them out of your life.

Sounds simple. Sounds sweet. Tougher to do to than it appears. Because you friends will ask, “Hey, what happened with that girl you met. Man, she is really cute.” Then you’ll be tempted to compromise. It may be worse. Your pals may be “Seduction community” conditioned people trying to coach you how to get her by having super-game. Can’t worry about that.

You must be willing to walk away if the situation is counter-balanced to your values.

So how do you balance indifference and accountability???

You show that you’d like to see them. You show that you’re interested and that you’d love to hang out and HAVE FUN!

On the same token, you know what you like, and you live your life upholding certain standards. It’s also about being able to be decisive and make decisions. AND if people are not able to live life on that plain with you, then you ARE willing to walk away.
Because remember, you HAVE choices too! If she is not willing to meet you on an even plane, there are plenty of others who will.

The Walk-away is key. Accountability hangs on a scale that must be equalized by the willingness to walk away. If you’re just indifferent, you’re aiming for the low-hanging fruit. If you’re too obsessed with the accountability, you care too much about the interactions and are behaving as though you’re desperate. The balance is knowing when to go forward, and when to walk away.
Now in regards to what we are talking about here...

Indifference can't be faked. You can't recite affirmations such as 'I don't care', 'I'm indifferent' and etc...

The way I see it is: Indifference can be achieved if you do the following:

- understand that there is nothing so special about women (we had threads about this on the treasure chest and after reading 'the books' that were mentioned on the treasure chest).

- Become your own best friend (as Kidd and Grinus always say)

- work on your front, clout and edge + have hobbies that are not related to women. This way if women is not interested you have other things to do anyway.

- remember the environmental factors that Kidd talked about in his article:
if you live in a very small town where the ratio between men and women sucks for you- you might want to consider relocating or taking a drive sometimes to the big town near you- in order to go fishing (for women) and improve your options.

- Know your values and your worth

- there are also Technics in letting go that can be used as a supplement to the other things we mentioned above....

for the full articles by Cameron Teone:

http://attractwomenanywhere.com/blog/20 ... part-deux/

http://attractwomenanywhere.com/blog/20 ... ntability/

_________________
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 10:38 am 
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So basically, enjoying the interaction without being emotionally attached to it and not really caring about the outcome?

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 11:32 am 
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moose35 wrote:
So basically, enjoying the interaction without being emotionally attached to it and not really caring about the outcome?
well that and no need to be too much indifferent, it's ok to let the girl know that you want to hang out with her but if she gives you the 'i'll meet with you only if nothing better comes up' then drop it/her

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:08 am 
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Quote:
Cameron Teone\ The Pros & Cons of “Indifference” in Dating:

How does Indifference Work?

Its chief design is to create, or rather trigger, an emotional response in people by providing the appearance that you have higher value and to further trigger that “people want what they can’t have” type of situation.

This is generally a sound concept, but there is an enormous piece of the puzzle most guys overlook. That piece, a prerequisite to making Indifference functional, happens to be “Attraction.”


Lesson here: You need some attraction for indifference to work. Whether it’s sheer physical looks, charm, wit, charisma, or your 1957 Corvette, you need some appeal.

you need some attraction, meaning she must be somewhat interested in you. You must appeal to her on some level.

If you do not, indifference will not be very effective for you. This is the part most men miss. They’re falsely under the impression that if they somehow stood in a corner facing a wall, and ignored a girl, somehow she’d be turned on and her juices would start to flow.
If a woman doesn't like you, it's common sense that jumping through hoops ain't gonna do shit. You can be indifferent all you want, but that isn't going to generate attraction if she doesn't feel that way about you already.

This is another reason why trying to be indifferent just to get women is stupid and doesn't work. I agree with Cameron Teone.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:15 am 
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In my POV it can generate curiosity and intrigue in a girl, like a cat.
But attraction... I don't think so.

Maybe I'm missing something... I feel it. I just don't know what. :P

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:21 am 
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I think essentially it goes beyond the external appeal.

The crux of it is not giving a shit whether she likes you or not, because as the wise men here say, it's outside of your control, whether that level indifference results in them coming to you or not is immaterial.

The feeling of freedom from attachment should be enough.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 4:43 am 
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Alchemist wrote:
I think essentially it goes beyond the external appeal.

The crux of it is not giving a shit whether she likes you or not, because as the wise men here say, it's outside of your control, whether that level indifference results in them coming to you or not is immaterial.

The feeling of freedom from attachment should be enough.
Now I remember.

Thanks :twisted:

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