Natural Freedom

Reflecting on my past experiences and in my attempts to let that old shit go, something occurred to me.

The women that 'screwed me up' merely exploited flaws already inherent within me at the time, and I have let my own experiences turn me jaded and suspicious of anything coming out of a woman's mouth, and it's potentially fucking up my first genuinely positive experience.

I recognize the part I played in my own failures and I really have to let these old experiences.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Excellent.

Now that you have access to that perspective, is something that exposed a weakness without killing you a failure, or a gift?

Seeing things for what they really are often "lets go" of them by itself.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

Doesn't work for me that way though, I see the problems but they don't go away with my awareness.

Also I see insight and perspective as a gift.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

They did, but the way you're talking is letting them off the hook like they had no choice, I don't let bitches off the hook, you shouldn't either.

Good, you should be.

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

That's not my intention, it's not like they didn't know what they were doing, just highlighting that it's their nature which they have no control over, like you guys always mention.

And also my focus is on how I lacked the foresight to get fucked over in the first place and let their bullshit slip under my radar, not so much on the actions of these women. I'm still finding it difficult to forgive myself for these mistakes.

I agree on the last thing you said but I don't believe it's so black and white, I've been wrong before when I was suspicious.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

I know what you mean, due to too much TV and other BS programs- we thought that women are all nice and sweet, only want 'love' and will never screw us over. it was a big shock to find out that they are far from the image we used to think.

As Star pointed out:
we shouldn't treat women any different than we treat other Men.

If a man screwed you up you wouldn't give him a free pass


Even a dog knows:

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Fixed

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

haha thanks Grinus,

great point

although I don't do that anymore (giving free passes and treat women different than I treat other Men)

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Sniper, I definitely didn't grow up believing women were 'perfect' would never screw me over, if anything I grew up expecting them to do just that, it started with my mom and the rest is history, but that just reveals a similar problem we both have: irrelevant projection...in your case you project your experiences onto that of other men, viewing yourself as a collective.

I just believed the ones I got involved would never exercise that capacity because I held them to a higher standard, or rather I put therm on a pedestal they did not deserve, it took me a long time to realize none of them deserve it. At the same time though there are some 'nice' ones out there (however you guys choose to define that), far from perfect but nevertheless tolerable, and that if there are some positive experiences to have then I should give it a chance.

My previous experience before my current relationship has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, but if I stay angry at this previous bitch and turn into an unnecessary asshole because I expect all women act like she did, then she still has power over me. In this way perhaps I can appease my ego as well by reminding myself that if I don't get over that old shit and move on, then she's won and if she knew she screwed me up this much she'd get off on that.

So I have to allay some (not all) of my doubt in order to heal, and I have to recognize the differences in each situation that went sour, they may be just as relevant as the similarities. As well as being brutally honest with myself and recognizing where I fucked up, and being honest with myself right now I beat myself up too much for past mistakes and I can see now how it's affected my confidence over the years.

This doesn't mean I don't keep an eye out for bullshit, but I'm not gonna look for it when it isn't there.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

I can dig,

the girl I'm seeing at the moment is also very nice (not without flaws of course cause there isn't such a thing) but so far so good.

yet I don't let myself get lazy and think that she can\will never screw me over.

This doesn't mean I walk all day long waiting for something bad to happen of course but I'm always keeping my eyes open - I hope it makes sense...

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Keep a sharp eye but don't be miserable, I get it.

But I still have much to learn about balance.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

People/ human species emerged basically
innocent, but IGNORANT. (not knowing consequences)

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♫♫♩♫‿◦

Chemist, do you find it difficult to forgive yourself because you think you may make these mistakes again?
if not, then letting go of that would be easy, why, because you will know how to act if (it usually changes it's facade but it's the same test at the end of the day) the scenario should re-play with other women. I believe you know what to do. do you?

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim

I would know what to do if the worst case scenario happened again.

I believe I've made enough progress to ensure that doesn't happen, but then again the way someone else treats me isn't always a reflection on my character, since even the more enlightened ones here get this kind of bullshit.

I've never found it easy to forgive myself for anything, part of it I guess would be me not wanting the same thing to happen again, so I'm still attached to that outcome.

I'm not a symp anymore and I don't behave as such, so there's no real reason why it should happen again as a fault of mine, then again women do whatever they're gonna do, so the answer is simple.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Wow...you have really come a long way, Fullmetal...astounding.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Thanks man.

I'm beginning to see things in shades of grey, I may have no control over circumstance but I do have control over my perspective and attitude, the way I am now at least I can influence a more positive outcome.

Plus with this one, so far she's backed up her words with actions so it can't be too bad. :p

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

After some much needed reflection, one of my major issues came to light:

I'm so focused on not being a 'nice guy' and rectifying my past sympish mistakes (by avoiding any behavior that even has a hint of 'niceness' in it) that sometimes I veer into the complete opposite and turn into an unecessary asshole.

Irony strikes again in the bottomless pit.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."